Hearts Are Breakable
by You Can Say I Dream Big
Summary: Jace and Clary have been going out for nearly two years. With Jace a senior and Clary a junior, what happens when two new students transfer to their high school? Are Clary and Jace really meant to be together? AH/AU slightly OOC
1. Chapter 1

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED IS OWNED BY CASSANDRA CLARE****_

**Chapter Song: Boston - Augustana**

***Lyrics of Boston belong to Augustana and its respective owners**

* * *

><p>They didn't know her. Not her parents, teachers, or her so-called friends. She was stuck in the same cycle. Eat, sleep, school, repeat. She wasn't aware of anything that went on around her; instead of living she only did what she had to in order to survive.<p>

That is, until she met _him._ He opened her eyes to a life that she was missing.

Their story wasn't original or exciting. It was boring and cliché – at least to any ordinary person. To her, meeting him was the best thing that happened in her life. He was the popular high school jock and she was the quiet artist who everyone overlooked. Until the day that he walked by the music room and heard her singing.

She felt that empty sort of loneliness deep in her soul and sang the one song that made her feel a little better. She sang about being lonely, about leaving, about starting over where no one knew her. Putting more emphasis on two specific lines, she sang louder.

_You don't know me and you don't even care._

_You don't know me and you don't wear my chains._

Half way through the second chorus, she felt another presence in the room. Abruptly she stopped playing and singing and turned to see the school's most popular guy. Jace Wayland. He just stood there, not quite in the doorway but not quite in the middle of room either, and stared at her. Staring back at him, she could see his perfectly lean body and beautiful angular face. His physique wasn't what caught her eye, however. It was the way that he seemed to _shine._ Of course his liquid gold eyes and golden blonde hair added to the effect, as did the sun shining through the window and coincidently casting rays in his direction. But all that aside, he seemed to have an aura of his own. This boy just radiated gold.

And that was it. Just one look and she knew she had fallen, just like every other girl in her stupid school, for the perfect boy that stood in front of her. Oh, she knew the rumors alright. She may have been a freshman but that doesn't mean she didn't know of Jace Wayland's reputation. He was arrogant, a player, and not worth her time, they had told her. Translation: She didn't have a shot in hell with him. And she knew it.

Forcing herself to stop staring, Clary turned back around on the piano bench and stared at the keys while she spoke. "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone needed this room. It was empty and I just wanted to play…" She trailed off. "I'll just go." She grabbed her messenger bag off the floor, didn't make eye contact with Jace – in fact she kept her eyes glued to the floor, and walked out of the music room.

"Hey, wait!" He called after her. She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Your voice, it's beautiful." At that, she turned around.

"Thanks," she said, sounding a little shocked.

"I'm Jace Wayland," he extended his hand.

"Clary Fray," she shook it lightly. A wave of nervousness overcame her and she pulled her hand out of Jace's and walked quickly out the school doors without so much of a 'bye' over her shoulder.

That was a little over a year ago.

Now, Jace and Clary were what could be called the 'It' couple.

Jace was the senior all-star basketball player with grades that could get him into any college he wanted, even without his athletic achievements. Clary, a junior, was the artist that everyone turned to when they needed help with an art project. She even did the mural on the wall opposite the auditorium. And of course, both were the best musicians in the school. They both sang and played the guitar and piano.

As far as popularity status was concerned, the couple was practically famous. It seemed that they had the ultimate high school life.

Except that Clary was still as shy as ever, only overcoming her insecurities when she was playing the piano or her guitar. She didn't mind being known as Jace's girlfriend, it kept her out of the spotlight somewhat. Jace loved it, she knew, but that was okay. He was born to be in the limelight.

He was everything to her. He showed her that she could be happy. He made her feel safe. With him, she could forget her problems, she could believe for a little while that everything was okay, she could pretend that nothing else in the world existed but them.

She gave him everything. He was her first kiss, her first boyfriend. On their first anniversary she happily gave him her virginity along with her heart while he whispered in her ear. "I love you, Clary. You have my heart. Forever."

She felt the same and she whispered right back, "I love you too, Jace. My heart belongs to you. Forever."

_Forever._

* * *

><p>September<p>

* * *

><p>His alarm was blaring at a glorious 6:30am. School had just started and Jace was still trying to adjust from his summer sleep schedule – which usually consisted of him sleeping until noon or so before going out with Clary.<p>

He thought of Clary for a moment. His adorable, beautiful girlfriend of just over one year. Looking over at the vacant side of his bed, Jace wished that he could have woken up beside her. That, in itself, would have made his day. But of course, last night her brother demanded that she come home. He missed her so much, and it was only a few hours ago that he saw her last.

_I am so whipped_, he thought to himself, a small smile on his face, as he began getting ready for the day.

When he got to school, he opened his locker and a folded piece of paper fell out. He caught it and smiled to himself when he read the message: _Turn around_. Doing as he was told, Jace turned around and was met with full, beautiful lips on his. The smile never left his lips as he felt himself being pushed back against the wall of lockers behind him. His hands twisted into the fiery red hair of his girlfriend. She gently bit his bottom lip and their mouths granted entrance for each other.

"I missed you," he mumbled into her mouth.

"Mmmm. I missed you too." She let out a little giggle but the connection didn't break.

All too soon, Jace heard someone clear their throat next to them. He felt Clary move away but kept his arms around her so she wouldn't go too far.

"Um, sorry guys but you're kind of in front of my locker." Jace turned to see another guy with black hair who actually looked like he was sorry for interrupting them.

Before he got a chance to say anything Clary giggled and said, "Sorry, we can get…carried away sometimes I guess." She was, easily, the sweetest and friendliest girl in their school. "We always thought that locker was empty," she motioned to the locker next to Jace's. It was only the second week of school, but they figured if no one claimed by now, it would remain empty. Guess they were wrong.

The new guy shrugged. "Well I'm new so I guess they gave me this one to try to keep things somewhat alphabetical."

"What's your last name?" Jace extended his right hand.

"Verlac," he shook Jace's hand.

"Wayland. Jace Wayland. This is my girlfriend, Clary Fray." Jace knew he sounded a bit protective – a little possessive even - but he didn't really care.

Clary, on the other hand, sounded polite as ever. "So what's your first name?"

Jace noticed that this Verlac guy was looking right at Clary and narrowed his eyes. Just as he opened his mouth another voice answered.

"Sebastian," it was a female voice. Both Jace and Clary turned their heads at the same time to see a girl, about Clary's height, with brown hair and slightly almond shaped eyes walk towards them. "I can't find my locker."

"Aline, Jace and Clary. Jace and Clary, Aline Penhallow." Jace relaxed a little knowing that Verlac had a girlfriend of his own but that didn't last long. "Aline is my cousin."

He didn't miss the look Aline gave him, and he would bet his life that Clary didn't either.

He knew he was right when Clary spoke. "What's your locker number?" Maybe they didn't realize it, but Jace could hear guarded tone that was laced in with forced friendliness.

"1477," Aline smiled and forced a laugh. "I got a little lost."

"Oh, well if you walk straight down this hallway you'll eventually reach the 1400's section. It shouldn't be that hard to find." Clary smiled like an angel right back.

Jace reluctantly let go of Clary and turned quickly to get his books out of his locker. When he turned back around he met Clary's gaze. But not before noticing Verlac checking her out. He slid a protective arm around her waist and said, "Come on, we still need to go to your locker."

Clary nodded, "Nice meeting you guys."

Aline only smiled back and Verlac said, "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other around."

Clary nodded again and they walked down the hall, away from the awkward encounter.

"Jace," she whispered.

"I know," his voice was tense and low.

Even without words they both knew what the other was thinking: already neither of them liked the newcomers.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Another new story, another long author's note. I apologize in advance.**

**Well, I wanted to wait until I updated FLW again, but I just couldn't contain my excitement. So here's a short sneak peak :) This story will be a little different, as far as formatting and content goes. The timeline will jump around a bit, but I'm going try my hardest to make it make sense. If you get lost at any point please tell me/ask me and I will try to fix or explain any confusion. As for the rating: ****I'm going to keep the rating M for some possible smut in later chapters. ;) Also, this was going to be an original story, but I started it was a fanfic and I will finish it as fanfic. Last but not least, I have a pretty firm grasp on which direction this is going to go, but updates will take me a little longer than my previous stories - sorry :(**

**Well I think I've said enough for now. Sorry this AN was so long. Hope you enjoyed and let me know what you think, please! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE****_

**Chapter Songs:**

**She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5**

**I Will Be Here - Steven Curtis Chapman**

**Guardian - Sarah Fimm**

***All songs and lyrics belong to their respective owners***

* * *

><p>Clary was sitting with Izzy, Simon, Magnus and Alec at their lunch table waiting for Jace to arrive. She watched as Magnus and Alec talked with their heads low and close and Izzy showed Simon a magazine that she was sure he had no interest for.<p>

A tingling sensation hit her, and she felt as if she was being watched. Nervously she turned to look over her shoulder and sure enough someone was looking at her. It was the new guy, Sebastian Verlac. As soon as they made eye contact, Clary turned back around and stared at the table.

When she found out that he was a new student, she tried to be friendly. She knew that Jace was clearly marking his territory by keeping his arms around her waist. _As if there was a question about whom she belonged to._ But she still didn't know what to make of Sebastian, or his cousin. It was hard to tell that they were related. He was tall and muscular with pitch black hair and piercing eyes, whereas she was shorter and lean with dark brown hair and slightly almond-shaped eyes. She was pretty, very pretty, and she clearly knew it. After she so openly checked Jace out, Clary had to force herself not to shout _he's mine!_ at the girl. If one thing was for sure, they definitely fed off each other's confidence – their brief encounter proved that. Once Aline showed up, Clary noticed Sebastian stand a bit taller and visibly check _her_ out. Even after being introduced as Jace's girlfriend. Yes, she decided, she and Jace were definitely going to avoid them.

The uncomfortable feeling of being observed didn't go away until Jace showed up. "Hey there, beautiful." He came up from behind and pecked her lightly on the cheek.

Once he sat down next to her, Clary whipped her head around and caught her lips with his. It only lasted a quick second, but when she pulled back she had a smile on her face. All her anxieties pushed to the back of her mind. "Hello to you too. How was your morning?"

Jace pulled Clary's chair close to his and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Boring, but this afternoon looks promising." Out of four afternoon classes, Clary had three of them with Jace; as opposed to her morning classes where she didn't share any with him.

"I would hope so," she smiled and kissed him lightly again. "Do you have any plans tonight?"

"No, what do you want to do?"

Clary turned so she faced Jace and batted her eyes a little. "Well, Jonathan won't be home which means I'll be all by myself." Her voice was full of mock innocence and heavy with intimation.

"Hmm," Jace tightened his grip on her slightly, "I guess I'll have to come keep you company then, won't I?"

"I would greatly appreciate it." Although they were in their high school cafeteria and conversations were being held around them, Clary leaned in and met Jace's lips with hers. His lips, soft and smooth, moved gently against hers.

Like always, the world disappeared leaving only Clary and Jace. She let herself be surrounded by his scent, his taste, his essence. He was the light that shined through the darkness the previous years of her life had cast. Without him, she'd still be lost.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but figured it had to be at least twenty minutes when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

"I guess we should go to class," Clary broke hesitantly broke away and looked at Jace.

"I guess so," he replied before stealing another small kiss. He got up and as he carried his tray to the trash Clary noticed that it was barely touched.

"You didn't even get to eat anything. I feel awful." Picking up her own half-empty tray, she knew that Jace probably didn't mind. But he was still a guy and she knew that he liked to eat.

Jace laughed, "Don't worry about it , Clary. I'll get us something to eat tonight, alright?"

"Alright," before he could wrap his arm around her she quickly added, "I'm going to go to the bathroom before class so I'll meet you there, okay?"

"Okay." She could feel Jace's gaze on her back as she exited the cafeteria alone.

Once she reached the bathroom and made sure that she was the only in there, Clary flipped the lock on the door and occupied one of the stalls. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her mind of all her doubts about what she was about to do. Even though she's done it before, the nervous feeling never went away. _It's the only way I'll ever be pretty enough for Jace_. She reasoned with herself before sticking two fingers down her throat and emptying the contents of her stomach in the toilet.

oOo

Jace wasn't an idiot. Hell, he was probably one of the smartest students in the school. So when Clary rushed in the classroom with a mere 30 seconds to spare he knew what just happened. She was flushed and when he pushed back a loose strand of hair from her face he could see a little bit of sweat on her forehead. When kissed him lightly on the cheek he could smell the mint gum she was chewing that she wasn't chewing at lunch.

He knew what she just did. It's happened before. He mentally noted the amount of times she went to the bathroom after lunch or when she didn't eat at all.

What he didn't know was _why._ Why did she feel the need to put herself through it? Lord knows he's tried to talk to her about it, but every time he'd chicken out. For the past several months he tried a different approach. Whenever she was with him he bought her food and didn't let her out of his sight; he's made her feel beautiful in every way he could. But he couldn't be with her 24/7.

Clary turned to him and smiled sweetly, which broke his heart. He wanted to be the one to make her feel better. He didn't want her to throw up everything she ate just so she could feel confident about her appearance. She was so thin to begin with that Jace feared if she got any skinner she would completely fade away to nothing. He hated that she felt so insecure about herself. Couldn't she see that she was beautiful. So beautiful that it hurt him sometimes?

As their English teacher settled down the class, he whispered in her ear, "You are so beautiful."

Clary blushed, "Thank you." She turned from him and pulled out her sketchbook along with her notebook for the class.

Jace leisurely took notes on Shakespeare while somewhat paying attention to teacher in the front of the room. His main focus was Clary. It didn't take her long to abandon her notebook and move to her sketchbook. In fact, the only thing she wrote seemed to be the date. Looking over her shoulder, Jace snuck a peak at what she was drawing. He smiled when he saw it was himself with a pair of wings.

"Are you trying to look at my drawing, Wayland?" Clary whispered without looking up.

"How do you know that I'm looking?" He whispered back. They may sit in the back of the class but they could still be heard if they talked too loud.

"I could feel you breathing down my neck. Literally." She smirked at him as she closed her sketchbook on her incomplete drawing and started taking notes on what the teacher was saying. How she could pick up right in the middle of class and understand everything was beyond Jace.

Their next class went the same way, for the most part. This time Clary didn't even bother pulling out her notebook, she never paid attention in Math. Jace just chuckled as the teacher began the lesson. As the class went on he found it harder and harder to concentrate on what was being taught. He was hyper-aware of Clary sitting so close to him and the urge to touch her made his hand twitch. Over the past two years, Jace has realized that the more time he's spent with Clary had made him _want_ to spend more time with her.

During History, the last class they had together, the teacher put on a video – swearing that they would have a quiz on it – and turned the lights out. After watching the third student fall asleep, Jace pulled Clary close to him and wrapped his arms around her – not unlike the position they were in at lunch. Her small body seemed to fit perfectly with his, as if they were molded for each other.

Clary must have liked the video because not once did she touch her sketchbook. However, Jace couldn't concentrate on it, not with Clary in his arms. To any outsider they may look like a peculiar couple; Clary's curly red hair and pale complexion and Jace's golden eyes and hair and tan skin was not a combination seen often. But Jace couldn't but think they were perfect for each other in every way.

oOo

When the teacher turned the lights on, signaling the end of class, Clary and Jace broke apart from their embrace. She looked around and saw some other students lifting their heads up off their desks. Clearly they didn't' think the video on women suffrage was interesting.

Jace walked Clary to her next, and last, class: world geography. Jace had a free period and he usually spent it playing piano for the chorus class. They took their time walking down the hall, acknowledging the smiles and "hi's" they got, and stood outside the door.

"Why are you taking two history classes back to back again?" Jace asked. They were leaning against a wall, facing each other, and he was running his hand up and down her arm. It felt familiar and soothing. Clary gave a little smile at the comfortable gesture before answering his question.

"Because the guidance counselor thought it would be a good idea." She rolled her eyes. "I just wish I had a free period like you – _with_ you."

Jace smiled but before he could respond a voice from behind Clary cut him off.

"Maybe that's _why_ she didn't give you a free period. Who knows what you two would have done. Or where." Clary turned to see Izzy, standing in the doorway, fake shudder.

"I resent that, you know," Jace said to his adoptive sister. "I have standards. Even _I_ know the supply closet has lost its class."

"Let it go down in history that Jace was the one who mentioned the supply closet. Not me."

"Now let's not forget who christened the supply closet and started the whole trend, sister dear." Jace snickered at Izzy.

She threw her hands up in the air, obviously annoyed now. "Come on, it was one time! And I didn't even go all the way with Bill What's-His-Face. It's not my fault everyone decided to follow in my glorious footsteps."

Clary was amused by the sibling banter and hadn't even realized that Sebastian approached them.

"Hey, Clary." He only addressed Clary, which didn't go unnoticed by Jace. "Do you know where room 107 is?"

She may have gotten a strange vibe from him this morning, but she couldn't be rude. "Yeah, actually it's this one right here." She gestured to the room she was standing outside of, "Are you in geography too?"

"Yeah, looks like we're in the same class." Sebastian flashed a stunning smile. Clary assumed that most girls would swoon at the sight, but she's seen better. Namely Jace's smile.

"Well we should probably get inside since the class is about to start." Izzy said, looking from Clary to Sebastian (who was looking directly at Clary) to Jace back to Clary. Jace still had his hand on Clary, a possessive gesture but gentle at the same time.

He turned her so she faced him. "I'll meet you at your locker after?" When Clary nodded he lowered his head and placed a small kiss on her lips. "See you later."

Knowing that Jace's possessive and jealous nature could be a problem, Clary smiled despite herself. She was so head over heels for him and it was nice knowing that he felt the same way.

"Bye," she murmured before following Izzy and Sebastian into their classroom.

The class wasn't as bad as most of the other students thought. She found herself interested and wanting to visit some of the countries mentioned. Of course, after introducing himself to the teacher, Sebastian took the only empty seat next to Clary. She ignored his glances and stares by drawing a resemblance of the map that was on the wall, accentuating the countries that she someday hoped to see.

The hour seemed to drag on forever. All Clary wanted to do was get back to Jace so they could spend the rest of the day and night together. The map she was working on was finished and so she turned to the unfinished drawing of Jace that she started in English class. It was still a rough sketch of him as an angel. She was working on the wings when the class ended. Packing up everything except her sketchbook, Clary quickly left the room.

Unfortunately she wasn't quick enough. Sebastian caught up with her. "Hey," he kept pace with her as she made her way to her locker.

She maintained her friendliness and made causal conversation. "Hi. How did your first day go?"

"It was good. My classes weren't too hard." He supported himself against the locker that was next to Clary's. "Oh, and I really like geography." He flashed another smile.

"That's good," Clary said absently as she looked for Jace. The hall was thinning out as students left the building for the day and she couldn't see Jace anywhere. "I should probably go find Jace." Hoping he was in the music room, Clary set off in that direction.

Before she got too far, Sebastian stopped her. "I was wondering if you had any big plans this weekend, maybe we could do something?" _Was he asking her out? _She had a boyfriend, he knew that.

Assuming that she was spending the weekend with Jace, the Lightwoods, and Simon, Clary nodded. "Sorry."

Sebastian nonchalantly shrugged, "Oh well. Maybe next weekend." Before he could see Clary's eyebrows rise in shock, he turned on his heel and walked away from her.

Still slightly shocked from Sebastian's forwardness, Clary walked in the opposite direction to the music room. Sure enough Jace was there, playing the piano. Clary stopped in the doorway, listening to him play and sing.

_I don't mind spending every day_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

It was her favorite song, always has been. She still remember the time she told Jace that it was her favorite.

"_You don't need that song, anymore. You have me."_

She smiled at the memory, and as he finished the song, she joined in. Her light, soprano voice mixed with his tenor filled the room in perfect harmonization. Jace let the last note ring before turning to face her.

"Hey," he said with a smile on his face.

"Hi, I knew I would find you in here." She saw the confused look on his face and added, "You didn't come to my locker." She wasn't looking directly at him, but past him. Obviously it wasn't anything to be concerned about, but she still felt a little embarrassed for worrying about Jace.

"Didn't you get my note? I taped it right inside." He frowned a little. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered. She still wasn't sure how she felt about Sebastian asking her out or if she should even tell Jace. "Yeah," speaking louder, "I guess I didn't see it." Choosing to ignore his skeptical look, she grabbed his hand and decided to not mention it. For now.

They reached Jace's black Honda civic and after opening the door for Clary he climbed in and turned to her. "I was thinking we could get Chinese food or something tonight. Sound good?"

Clary kept her eyes on her hands in her lap. "Yeah, I guess." She was feeling guiltier every minute she didn't tell Jace about Sebastian. Even though there was a good chance that he meant nothing by it, she felt almost obligated to tell Jace that Sebastian had asked her to hang out this weekend.

Jace didn't turn the car on, but instead he gently placed two fingers under Clary's chin and moved her head so that she was forced to look at him. Just looking at how perfect he was sometimes hurt Clary. She often wondered if this – him – was a dream and when she would wake up, for she was way too ordinary to be with someone like him.

"What's wrong, Clary?" His golden eyes were full of concern. Concern for her. Somehow, his eyes held a power over her. Each time she looked in them she got lost, mesmerized, hypnotized. She would do anything for him.

She suddenly burst out, "Sebastian asked me out after class." Knowing this wasn't entirely true, she amended her statement. "Well, he didn't actually ask me out. He asked about my plans for this weekend and if I could hang out with him and…" She stopped herself from rambling and waited for Jace's reaction.

Jace dropped his hand from her face and looked down at the center console. Clary couldn't gage his reaction. "What did you say?" His voice was quiet and neutral.

"I said I already had plans. I didn't know what else _to_ say." She didn't like not being able to see his eyes. "Jace?" He stayed silent. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, she tried again. "Jace, say something." Silence. "Please don't be mad at me," she half meant to say it to herself, but she said it loud enough so Jace could hear. Being afraid of an angry boyfriend might have seemed silly, dumb even. But Jace had never been angry with her. Clary didn't know what to do. She knew enough to give him space and let him think, but that was when he was mad at _other people_. She was the one he usually went to, now that he was mad her… She didn't know what to do. She felt the familiar pricking of tears but her eyes remained dry.

Jace slowly looked up and met Clary's eyes. They weren't cold and hard like she expected; instead they were bright and – if he was smiling – could be considered cheerful.

He lifted his hand and gently caressed her cheek, his thumb rubbing her cheekbone. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her. She wanted more but he pulled away before she could really kiss him.

"How could I ever be mad at you?" He looked her right in the eye and again, she got lost in them. There was nothing she could say, words simply left her mind. So he continued. "I think I'm angrier with myself, for not being able to control my own jealousy." He humorlessly laughed; his smile didn't touch his eyes.

Now it was Clary's turn to look away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you jealous, I just needed to tell you. The fact I didn't tell you right away was eating away at me. Can we just forget that he said anything to me? Let's go eat Chinese food, okay?"

This time when he smiled it lit up his eyes. "Sure. And Clary, I am glad you told me. I just can't stand the fact that every guy in that school wants you. I'm too jealous for my own good."

"There is no way _every_ guy 'wants' me. And besides, only one matters." She blushed a little, but smiled also.

Jace leaned to kiss her – really kiss her – then turned to start the car.

Clary waited in the car while Jace picked up the food and soon enough they were back at her house digging in. Of course, she watched how much she ate knowing that there was no way she was getting away from Jace tonight. Not that she wanted to anyway.

Jace put on a movie when they were finished, but neither them were interested in it. While it quietly played in the background they talked, made out, talked some more and Clary eventually fell asleep against Jace.

. . .

_It was like watching a movie, only Clary seemed to be watching herself. She was wearing knee-length black dress, her curly hair loose at her shoulders. Looking around she saw that she was in the school gym. Lights were shining and a slow song was playing. Was she at a school dance? It was too early in the school year for there to be a dance. But here she was, standing alone during a slow song. Where were all the other people? Where was Jace? As if a door had been opened a gust of wind hit her exposed back and she shivered. _

"_Cold?" a familiar voice asked from behind. Jace wrapped his arms around her, effectively warming her body. For some reason she's had this tightening in her chest, only ceasing when Jace touched her. In his arms she felt safe, like nothing could hurt her ever again. _

_Turning to face him, she asked "Where have you been? I've been lonely." _

_He ran his hands up and down her bare arms, enveloping her in his warmth. "I've been here the whole time. I've always been here, and I'll never leave you." _

"_Good," she stood on her tip-toes, placed her hands around his neck, and kissed him. His lips were so soft and warm. All of him seemed to be warm tonight. She smiled against his mouth, grateful for this moment with him. _

_He moved his hand from her arms to her face, running his tongue across her bottom lip. She opened her mouth to him and felt his smooth, pliant tongue occupy her mouth. _

_When she pulled back, she didn't see Jace's face, but Sebastian's. Shock hit her, but once that passed she wanted to recoil or turn and run away or…something. Instead she felt herself smile. And kiss him. Again. _

. . .

Clary sat straight up, eyes wide open. Her heart was beating fast and she was trying to catch her breath as if she had been holding it. As if she had really been kissing someone. She took in her surroundings and found darkness. Realizing that she was sitting on her mattress and in her room, she relaxed a little. Looking to her left she saw Jace, peacefully sleeping; on her nightstand she saw that it was just after four in the morning.

She sat against her headboard, trying to calm her breathing and heartbeat. Once they were back to normal, Clary became aware of a rumbling in her stomach. She pressed a hand to her stomach and then suddenly her other hand flew to her mouth. Whipping the covers off, she practically ran to the bathroom connected to her bedroom.

She reached the toilet just in time as she vomited. She coughed and vomited for what felt like forever, she was barely aware of a soothing hand rubbing her back and holding her hair. Tears started to cloud her vision and this time she didn't stop them.

When she was finished she stood up, walked over to the sink and wiped her face clean.

"Oh Clary," a quiet voice, Jace's voice, made her fully focus on him. Except he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at what was in the toilet.

When she hesitantly looked, the sight nearly made her vomit again. Mixed with chunks of that night's dinner was blood. Her hand was shaking as she peered at the towel she had used to wipe her mouth with, there was a smear of red on it.

Her knees were unable to hold her up and she was thankful that Jace was there to catch her. Tears fell freely from her face, but she remained silent.

oOo

There was a fairly large spot on Jace's shirt that was soaked through by Clary's tears, but he didn't mind. He only ran his hand in comforting circles on her back and pushed her hair out of the way when it fell in her face.

After a while, the tears slowed and Clary's breathing evened out. When the tears came to a complete stop, he awkwardly held Clary while he closed the toilet lid and flushed its contents. Then he scooped her light body up in his arms and took her back to her bed. Immediately after climbing in, he took her in his arms and held her tightly against him. He watched her sleep for a few minutes before giving into the darkness that was at the edge of his vision.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well here's another chapter, a bit longer than usual. To be completely honest, this was not the way I had originally planned this chapter to go, but oh well. I hope you enjoyed it :)**

**Happy Birthday to Mellark's Heart! Sorry this couldn't be a Famous Last Words update but this chapter just seemed to write itself so easily :)  
><strong>

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and/or added this story to their alerts/favorites! You guys are the sole purpose I keep writing :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**_**ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENT RELATED IS OWNED BY CASSANDRA CLARE**_**

**_Chapter Song: Yellow - Coldplay_**

**_*Lyrics belong to Coldplay and its respective owners* _**

* * *

><p>There was a persistent knocking on Clary's door the next morning. Jace removed his arms from around Clary, keeping her in place, and slid off the bed to answer the door.<p>

"Clary -" Jonathan, her brother, was standing just outside. "Oh, Wayland," His eyes narrowed, "What are you doing in my sister's room?"

Jace rolled his eyes. They went through this every time he caught Jace in Clary's room. "Sleeping. What else would we be doing?" Of course, he could think of plenty they could be doing.

Jonathan just shrugged, "Whatever. Get Clary up, you're going to be late for school. I'm leaving now."

Jace just shook his head. "She's sick. I'm going to stay here, with her, for today."

"Whatever, dude. Have fun taking care of her." With that, Jonathan turned and walked down the hall.

Jace closed the door and turned to look at Clary. She had grabbed one of her pillows and hugged it to her body. He just smiled down and her small form wrapped around the pillow. Memories of the previous night came back to him. He saw her bent over the toilet, puking, and then crying in his arms until she fell asleep. The smile fell from his face as he climbed back in bed. He tugged at the pillow, trying to get it out of Clary's grasp. But she wasn't having it. Her arms tightened around it and she clung to it. After a few more pulls, Jace got the pillow away from Clary and quickly replaced it with his body.

Her warm arms around his torso felt so good. He remained sitting up, against her headboard, holding her and watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful, but soon that peacefulness was interrupted when she began to tremble. It wasn't a full body tremble, just her hands and head. He's seen it before, when she was having a nightmare, so he pulled her closer and tightened his arms around her. When that didn't work, and he saw a few tears leak from her closed eyes, he decided that it was time to wake her up.

"Clary, wake up." He shook her shoulders gently, but it didn't do any good. "Wake up."

Clary made a whimpering noise and called out, "Mommy…" The tears were starting to steadily flow now.

Quickly approaching panic mode, Jace tried waking her again. "Clary, sweetheart, you need to wake up." He spoke with more conviction and shook her more forcefully.

But when Clary opened her mouth and let out a strangled scream, Jace did the only thing he could think of. He placed his mouth over hers and kissed her forcefully. Jace felt her kiss back before her eyes flew open and pulled back.

"I…" Clary blinked once, confusion plainly written on her face. "What was that?"

Jace looked down at her worriedly; maybe she didn't remember her dream or even realize that she was crying. In an effort to make her realize what was going on, he cupped her cheek and used her thumb to wipe away the remaining tear that escaped.

Realizing what he was doing, Clary reached up and wiped her other cheek. She looked at the moisture on her hand as if she had never seen such a thing.

"What happened?"

"You were crying, and then you screamed. Do you remember what your dream was about?"

Her head was in mid-shake when she froze and stared right into Jace's eyes. "The crash…" She covered her hand with her mouth and the tears started up again. Jace wrapped his arms securely around her and pulled her into him, switching their position so that they now lay on their sides. He felt the sobs that went through her body. "Jace." Her cry almost made him fall apart for her. But he remained her pillar of strength, just as he always would.

As the cries and sobs subsided, Jace glanced at the clock. It was still early in the morning; Clary had only slept for about five hours. He looked down at her to see if she had fallen back asleep, but she was staring blankly at his chest. Jace knew from that look that she wasn't really looking at his chest, but something beyond the present moment.

Knowing that she was awake and would hear him, he began to softly sing the lyrics that he always sung to her when she got lost in herself.

_Look at the stars_

_Look how they shine for you_

_And everything you do_

_Yeah, they were all yellow_

_I came along_

_I wrote a song for you_

_And all the things you do_

_And it was called 'Yellow'_

_So then I took my time_

_Oh what a thing to've done_

_And it was all yellow_

_Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones_

_Turn into something beautiful_

_D'you know, you know I love you so?_

_You know I love you so_

…

_Look at the stars_

_Look how they shine for you_

_And all the things that you do_

By the time he had finished singing the song, Clary had seemed to pop out of whatever daze she was in. The whole time he sang to her his eyes were trained on her face, now her green eyes met his golden ones.

"You know," Clary swept a hand through his blonde hair, "you're eyes are golden-yellow."

"They're all for you," he whispered. And she smiled at him, genuinely smiled. As if nothing had just happened. As if she didn't just have a mini-melt down, or if she didn't violently vomit the night before.

A sudden, serious thought crossed his mind. What if he lost her in that crash two years ago? What if he loses her to whatever she is battling inside? Why wouldn't she let him in? Can't she see that all he wants is to help her, to make her happy? Why –

His jumbled thoughts were cut off by the feeling of soft fingertips tracing the contour of his lips. "What are you thinking about?"

Jace looked down at her, "You. Always you."

Instead of responding, Clary leaned up and pressed her lips to his. He knew that she was exhausted and didn't push for anything more. Content with her wrapped tightly in his arms he continued to pepper soft, sweet kisses on her face. God, he would never get enough of her smooth skin. He buried his face in her wild red curls; her scent was everywhere – _she _was everywhere. He never wanted her to leave; he wanted to be right next to her always.

"I love you, Clary." He whispered into her hair, but he knew that she heard him.

Clary was playing with a few of his own golden curls at the base of his neck. She let out a small giggle, "I love you too, Jace. But," she pulled back and put both hand on his face so that she could look him in the eye. "Why are you being so serious?"

Why was he being so serious? When had his thoughts turned morbidly melodramatic?

He just shrugged. "I'm worried about you. After last night, and then this morning…" He ran the back of his hand across her cheek. "What's bothering you?"

Clary buried her face in his chest and shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing," she mumbled.

Knowing that her answer was anything but the truth, Jace pushed again. "I know that's not true. You don't just wake up in the middle of the night and start vomiting over nothing, Clary. Please, tell me what happened."

"I had a bad dream. That's all."

"About your mom?" Jace knew that it was more than that, but he wanted her to tell him.

She hesitated before she shook her head.

"Then what was it?" He couldn't think of anything worse than the dreams she had about her mother's car accident from years ago.

"I… I dreamt that I was all alone and cold. But then you showed up and kept me warm." She looked up at Jace, her gaze locked with his while she continued. "We were dancing, and then you kissed me. It was great. Until you pulled away. Except it wasn't you. It was Sebastian."

Jace's arms tensed. Just hearing his name and now knowing that he was in her dream caused unwanted feelings to flow through him.

"What happened?"

"I…" Her eyes never left his, "I kissed him. But it wasn't me, well it was, but it was like I was watching myself and had no control over what I was doing. It was just a dream…" Clary trailed off and became silent again.

True, it was just a dream and she did wake up and vomit afterwards. But didn't dreams mean something? He knew that she loved him, and he's never doubted her. So why were doubting thoughts swarming his brain now? It was just a dream.

"Jace," Clary's hand was on his face, soft and gentle. "Please believe me when I say that it was nothing. When I woke up I was so disgusted with myself." She leaned up and tentatively placed a kiss on his lips. It was a light, barely-there kiss, as if she was nervous.

At the contact, any doubts Jace had floated away. She would never do that, or anything to hurt him. He was sure of it.

Clary pulled away before the kiss became too heated and looked directly at him. "I love you."

Jace smiled down at her, "I love you, too."

With that, Clary smiled brightly and their lips met once more.

o.O.o

Jace was standing in Clary's spacious kitchen. He was waiting for the water on the stove to boil for her tea when Jonathan came home.

"Hey, how is she?" He didn't even look at Jace, instead he was looking through the mail.

"Better."

"Was she sick-sick this time, or was she depressed-sick?" His tone was so casual, as if he was asking if the sky was blue and the grass was green.

"Both, kind of. She had a dream about your mother's crash again."

At this, Jonathan looked up and pointed a finger at Jace. "That woman was _not_ my mother."

Jace sighed, "She still dreamt about her. Don't you care at all, Jon?"

"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower." Jonathan was gone for about five seconds before he returned. "Oh, I have some company coming over so would you mind letting them in when they get here? Thanks." Without waiting for a response, he left again.

It was only about a minute after Jon left when the doorbell rang. Jace walked over, opened the door, and was stunned to see a short girl with long brown hair standing with her back to him.

"Aline."

At the sound of her name she turned around. When she saw Jace a confused looked crossed her face, but then she smiled. "Hi, Jace. What are you doing here?"

Jace crossed his arms and didn't move from the doorway. For some reason he didn't want to let her in. "Clary's sick, I'm taking care of her. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm here for Jonathan. He said I could come over right after school. Can I come in now?" She smiled knowingly at his defensive stance.

Silently, he moved out of the way.

When she stepped inside he noticed what she was wearing. Aline's attire consisted of a short – _really _short – mini skirt and a low-cut, tight top.

Jace went back to the kitchen where the water still wasn't ready. How long does it take to boil water? He put his hands on the edge of the stove and stared at the pot, willing it to boil faster.

"Jon's taking a shower, he should be done soon." He told Aline absently.

"That's fine, I can wait." Her voice sounded much to close for Jace's liking. When he looked to his right he saw that she was, indeed, sitting on the countertop, on a few inches from him.

Almost against his will, his eyes slid down her form. Her legs were crossed which exposed even more skin. It looked like she tanned, or spent a lot of time in the sun. Jace bet on the former. Aline placed her elbows on her knee and leaned her head on her hand. Intentionally or unintentionally – Jace couldn't tell – this gave him a gracious view of her chest.

His gaze didn't linger any longer than normal, but some part of him couldn't believe he was even looking. He had a beautiful girlfriend waiting for him upstairs. He looked at Aline again. Indeed, she was pretty. But she didn't even compare to his Clary. Where she was beautiful, this girl –in his opinion – was just graced with good genes.

By the time he turned his attention back to the tea pot it was boiling. Quickly, Jace pulled out a tea bag and mug. He dropped the tea bag in, along with two scoops of sugar, and poured the water. Without waiting for it to stoup, he reached for a spoon. But stopped. Aline's legs were dangling in front of the drawer that held the flatware.

"Excuse me," Jace's voice was clipped, but not cold.

Aline seemed to notice what Jace was hinting at and said, "Sure, no problem." With a coy smile she jumped off the counter and landed lightly. She slowly readjusted her skirt by pulling the end down just a little so that it laid about mid-thigh.

Jace knew that she was trying to put on a show with her over exaggerated movements, but he paid no attention. Instead he took out a spoon and began to make his way out of the kitchen without another glance at Aline.

But she caught his arm just before he could make his escape. "You know, Jace, you don't have to be so cold. I'm just here to have a little fun."

All of a sudden the large kitchen seemed to close in on him. He jerked his arm out of her grip. "I don't care what you're doing with Jon, just leave me alone." And with that he left her standing there alone.

But not before hearing her call out: "No promises."

Jace just rolled his eyes and walked back upstairs to Clary's room. He stood just outside her door and shook his head, clearing away his jumbled thoughts. When he walked in, he saw Clary stretching under the covers. Thankfully, he suddenly couldn't think of anyone but her. He walked over and set the mug down on the nightstand next to her bed.

"Hey, you were -" Jace didn't let her finish, however, because he captured her lips with his. He climbed back into bed and held himself over her.

"You were saying?" He moved from her mouth down to her neck, then to her ear.

"I don't remember," Clary panted before directing his face back to hers.

Jace ran his nose up and down her neck, his lips lightly grazing the skin but not quite kissing. "I love you. I love you so much, Clary, it hurts sometimes."

With a little giggle, Clary's hand twisted in his hair. "I know, Jace. I feel the same way."

"I love you," he declared one more time. Except this time he couldn't be sure if he was reassuring her or himself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, wow...I'm so sorry I made you wait so long! I've been so busy with school and everything. I hope you can all forgive me. As an incentive, I wrote a (short) chapter completely in Jace's POV. ;)**

**I changed the rating of this story because I just can't see it becoming too mature. I thought it was going to be, but I guess things aren't turning out that way. Sorry to anyone who's disappointed. **

**Last, but certainly not least, Thank you to my amazing reviewers and readers! And of course to whoever added this to their favorites and/or alerts! You guys are great :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**_**__ ALL __CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED IS OWNED BY CASSANDRA CLARE**_**

**Chapter Song: You and Me – Lifehouse**

***Lyrics to You and Me belong to Lifehouse and its respective owners**

* * *

><p>October<p>

* * *

><p>"Well, darling friends of mine, guess whose parents will be absent Halloween weekend?" Magnus Bane asked at lunch.<p>

Clary sat with Jace at a round table made up of her closest friends: Izzy and Alec Lightwood (Jace's adoptive siblings), Simon Lewis (her best friend since childhood) and Magnus Bane (Alec's boyfriend). Their little group may not be the "popular" group, but she wouldn't have it any other way. She was also glad that Jace didn't care either; as popular as he was, he still chose to sit with her.

Various sarcastic answers came from around the table.

"Santa Claus."

"The tooth fairy."

"Marry Poppins."

"Wow, you guys are truly unoriginal," Magnus sighed, sounding disappointed.

"Let me guess," Alec said, "your parents are going away again?"

"Right you are, Alec darling. My parents will be away all weekend. I'll be throwing the party of the century!"

Jace rolled his eyes, "Magnus, all your parties are 'parties of the centuries'. What's so special about this one?"

"Because, it's Halloween. And it's going to be a costume party!" Magnus exclaimed excitedly.

Clary groaned out loud, "Magnus you know I hate costume parties. Can't I just show up dressed normally?"

He shook his head, "Nope, you have to be wearing a costume in order to be let in."

"Fine," she crossed her arms stubbornly, "I'll just stay home."

"Oh no you won't. The only reason I manage to get through his parties is because I know you're there too, Clary." Jace said, his voice was serious but he poked her teasingly in the side.

Clary thought about it for a moment. She didn't mind Magnus's parties, she just didn't want to dress up. Maybe if she could convince Izzy to wear a modest costume the night won't be so bad. Sighing, she answered, "Alright, I'll go. But Izzy, you have to swear to me that I can pick my own costume."

"But Clary, you'll probably pick out something boring. No one will even glance at you." Izzy pouted but didn't object.

"I'll still look at you. You could be wearing nothing, and I'll still look at you." Jace wiggled his eyebrows and winked at her.

"I should hope so," Clary mumbled, looking at the table in a feeble attempt to hide the blush that crept up on her. Her sex life was a subject that she did not want the entire table discussing, so she switched the subject. "When is Halloween anyway?"

"Next weekend," Simon answered. It was the first time he spoke and Clary noticed the space – or lack thereof – between himself and Izzy. She knew something was up with them, but neither ever spoke of the feelings they had for each other. It was quite annoying, she wished that Simon would get the courage to ask Izzy out already.

"That's pretty close, but still so far away." Clary noted. It was Thursday now and with the way their classes were going she knew the upcoming week will be a long one.

The rest of the table was nodding their agreement when the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Clary was the first to stand, with the intention on making a trip to the bathroom before her class with Jace. However, before she had the chance to walk away someone grabbed her wrist. Looking behind her, she saw Jace, an expression of determination donned his face.

"Don't Clary. Just come to class." His hand slid down to her hand and he interlaced their fingers.

Avoiding his gaze, Clary half-heartedly protested. "Jace, please let me go."

He just shook his head, "I can't do that. I can't just look away anymore." Meeting his eyes, she saw that they too were pleading just as much as his voice was.

Ever since that night Clary had the nightmare with Sebastian in it Jace stayed by her side and rarely ever let her go to the bathroom after a meal – no matter how big or small it was. Of course, Clary was able to slip away everyone in a while, but only just. She knew Jace was just protecting her, but nothing would make that insecure feeling go away. So since she couldn't get rid of her food as easily anymore, she simply lowered the amount she ate. She consumed smaller portions, less portions, or nothing at all.

While being frozen in his gaze and lost in a pool of liquid gold, Clary found herself nodding. "Okay, let's go."

Jace smiled and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. Hand-in-hand they left the cafeteria. Clary was conscious of the crowds that moved out of their way, open stares, and girly whispers that started, but she didn't let them affect her. The gossip was a small price to pay if she wanted to be with Jace. And she loved him, with all her heart. She would do anything to stay by his side.

o.O.o

Classes went by slowly, the afternoon dragged. Clary was walking to her last class with Jace when some scrawny boy approached them.

"Jace, I'm doing a sports article on the opening games this weekend. Can I ask you a few questions for the school paper?" Judging by the shaking in his hands, Clary could tell the boy was either a freshman or sophomore who was obviously nervous. This was probably his first major article.

Jace glanced at Clary and shrugged. "Sure. What's up, kid?"

"Well your first game is against East Ridge, right? How do you think you and your team will do? As team captain how do you feel about the players this year, I mean they're mostly seniors but you do have a few new players, right? Any outstanding underclassmen that you think will steal the spotlight, so to speak? And how - "

"Whoa, kid, slow down." Jace chuckled. The poor boy seemed to have been reading right down his list of questions. "One at a time. What was the first question?"

"Um…How do you think you'll do against East Ridge on Saturday?"

"Well they're not the easiest team in the league, but they are definitely not the hardest. I think it's safe to say that our first game will be a win." Jace answered smoothly.

The boy was scribbling down Jace's answer as he asked his next question. "And how do you feel about the team this year? Most are seniors but there are some new underclassmen, right?"

The hallway began to thin out as students made their way from their lockers to their class, signaling the end of the five minute break between lunch and the afternoon block of classes.

"We do have a few new players this year but I'm confident that we'll be just as powerful as ever. Each new player showed a sense of teamwork during tryouts which is why we picked them. Our team functions more on teamwork and dedication rather than raw talent." Clary watched as Jace effortlessly answered the boy's questions. Just listening to his answers and his tone of voice, she knew that he was always meant for the spotlight and that his way with words will get him far.

"Any worries about someone stealing your spotlight?" The boy, she really wanted to ask his name, glanced carefully at Jace, as if he might take offense to the question.

Jace just smiled and shook his head. "I'm hoping someone will shine through. I need to know that the team will be in good hands once I'm gone."

The boy nodded and kept scribbling on his little notebook.

"What's your name?" Clary asked.

The boy looked up from his notebook and his eyes widened into huge circles, as if he was just now noticing her. He managed to squeak out, "Jimmy." His eyes were glued to her face.

She would probably blush or feel creeped out under the stare, but Jimmy was just too damn cute. He had brownish-red hair that stuck up every which way and freckles that spotted his face. His frame was lanky and he was about stick-thin, making his clothes seem too baggy on him. He seemed to be even shorter than Clary, which put him at around 5'. Jace must have seemed like a giant to him.

"Are you a freshman, Jimmy?" For some reason, he interested her.

After a slight pause, he blinked and looked away from Clary. "Umm… Yeah. First year. Transfer."

"Hmm, you must be a pretty good journalist to have one of the top stories already."

Jimmy looked at the floor, "Yeah, I was one of the best writers in my middle school back ho – at my old home."

"We should get going," Jace interrupted. Looking around, Clary could see that they were going to be late to class.

As they walked away, she called, "Bye Jimmy, and good luck with that article." Turning back to Jace, she said: "I'm going to be late to class."

Jace grinned at her, "You know, the chorus class took a field trip today, so I have the music room all to myself."

"Oh yeah? Well that's convenient." She smiled at him, but put up no objections when he led them to the music room instead of her world geography class. Once they reached the empty classroom Clary let a sly smile break out on her face. "You know, Mr. Wayland, I don't think you're the best influence for me. After all, you're letting me skip class, and now we're in this big, empty room," by now she was taking slow steps towards Jace who left her to shut the door and pull the shade down over the little window cut-out in it. "All alone. What are we to do?" She took his hand and lightly ran a finger over his palm, watching his reaction.

Her expression remained playful, but Jace's was more serious. His eyes were close and he leaned his head in towards her. She knew that he was affected most when she took the lead. Clary loved knowing that she was able to cause that reaction.

Still tracing the lines on his palm, Clary pulled him forward and met his lips with hers. It was slow and deep, their tongues expertly exploring the other's mouth. Clary's hand dropped Jace's and both wrapped around his neck and played with the little hairs at the back of his neck. Jace groaned and wrapped his arms around her, closing what little distance was between them.

She was never sure how he did it, but Jace always managed to taste like a perfect balance of lemon and what she always considered to be sunshine. That was what she saw behind closed eyelids when she kissed Jace – sunshine.

After about five minutes, Jace detangled himself from Clary. He held her hand as he led her over to the piano. He sat her down on the piano bench and dragged a chair over for himself. He grabbed a guitar that was sitting in the stand and began strumming.

Clary instantly recognized the song and smiled. She drew her legs up and sat Indian-style while listening to Jace play and sing to her.

_What day is it? And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive_

_I can't keep up and I can't back down_

_I've been losing so much time_

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people_

_With nothing to do, nothing to lose_

_And it's you and me and all of the people_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you._

After strumming the last few chords, Jace put the guitar to the side and smiled at Clary. She didn't say anything about the song, she didn't have to. Instead she got off the piano bench and straddled his lap. They continued kissing until the bell rang.

o.O.o

Friday passed by in a blur for Jace. Everywhere he went he ran into students telling him good luck and to kick East Ridge's ass. This is how it always was; Friday's were always days of excitement. Sure there was a football game that night, but their basketball team was much more popular.

It was the day before their first game, and Jace was indeed confident that his team was going to win. They practiced like hell and all of them were extremely well talented.

He had next to no homework for the weekend. The only teacher that gave him homework was in math that he knew he could blow off until Sunday. After saying bye to Clary and watching her walk out of the building with Izzy and Simon he went to the gym.

On days before a game they never had a hard or long practice. The team ran through a few basic drills and the coach gave them his usual pep talk.

As Jace was lacing up his shoes he heard his named barked throughout the locker room.

"Wayland!" He rolled his eyes as Jon Morgenstern came around the corner.

Jace knew that Jon thought of himself as a hot shot, showing up at the end of his sophomore year and immediately making the team. Sure he was good, but he was no better than Jace.

"What, Jon?" Jace only tolerated Jon because he was with Clary and because they were on the team together.

Jon clapped a hand on Jace's shoulder and said, probably louder than necessary, "I've heard people say that my girlfriend's hotter than yours."

This was Jon. Jace knew all too well that he was shallow and liked to cause drama. Sometimes he could be worse than girls.

He took a deep breath as he heard locker doors suddenly and footsteps approach them. He noticed, with relief, that Alec was one of the first ones to get there.

"So? Why should I care about what people think of your girlfriend? My girlfriend's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." _That should shut him up_, Jace thought. He didn't know why Jon brought up Clary; Jon hated talking to Jace about his sister.

"Aw," a voice spoke out in the small crowd that gathered to hear the conversation. He stepped forward and Jace could see that the voice belonged to Sebastian Verlac. "Does Jace have a soft spot?"

"Yes," Alec came and stood next to Jace. "But only one, and for only one person. Now get out there, it's Friday and coach will want to get out of here early."

Jace watched as his teammates made their way out of the locker room, Jon and Verlac included. Then he turned to Alec. "Thanks, man. Jon is really getting on my nerves."

"No problem," Alec started leaving the locker room as well, "I've always got your back."

Jace nodded and followed him out the door. Not only was Alec his brother, via Jace's adoption, but he was also his best friend. Jace remembered coming to their house as a foster kid when he was ten and getting along with Alec right away. Izzy was a different story; they hated each other for the first year, but then seemed to get along after their parents proposed the idea of adopting Jace.

Shaking his head at the old memories, he ran out onto the court and fell in line with his team and went through the drills.

"Okay, so remember: keep your head in the game and be there for each other. This team's got the best teamwork dynamic and I intend to show everyone that. Got it? Now go cool off and I'll see you all tomorrow with your game face on." The coach finished his pep talk and now everyone was retreating back to the locker room.

Some of the guys took showers, but Jace just grabbed his stuff and made his way to the car. While waiting for Alec, he decided to call Clary.

She picked up on the second ring, "Hey Jace."

"Hey, beautiful. What are you doing?"

"Just painting."

"No surprise there. What are you painting? Need me to come over than and model for you?" Jace asked teasingly.

Clary laughed, "No, no. I was just putting some finishing touches on an ocean landscape that mom started."

Jace paused, all joking matters aside. Parents were a touchy subject, for both of them, and he didn't really know how to go about the fact that Clary was working on one of her mother's paintings. She only did that every once in a while.

"That's…good," he didn't know what other word to use. Switching the subject, he asked, "Want to go out tonight?"

"Why, Jace Walyand, are you asking me out on a date?" Her voice held no tension and was surprisingly light for having just mentioned her mother. Jace saw this as a good thing.

"Yes, I am. What do you say? Dinner and a movie?" By this time, Jace saw Alec walking out of the building. He unlocked the door and moved to lean against the hood of the car so that Alec could get in without overhearing his conversation.

Jace could hear Clary giggle over the line and his heart practically did a summersault. He loved her laugh, her voice. He loved everything about her.

"Sounds so old fashioned."

"You love it," he smirked knowing he was right.

"Yeah, I suppose I do. Dinner and a movie sounds great."

A tapping came from behind Jace and he turned to see Alec motioning with his hand to speed things up. "Great, I'll pick you up at 6. I got to go. Love you, Clary."

"Love you too, Jace."

Jace hung up and dropped himself in the driver's seat with a smile on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Alec asked suspiciously.

"I've got a date with my girl tonight," he said simply.

o.O.o

Two hours later, Jace got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist while looking for clothes to wear tonight. He settled on a pair of dark wash jeans and a white button up. He rolled the sleeves to his elbows and left the top two buttons undone, giving the world a peak at his golden skin. He shook his head a little causing his hair to lie in what Clary calls "a sexy mess". Looking in the mirror he was pleased with his reflection and threw his phone and wallet in his pockets.

Downstairs, he grabbed his keys from the kitchen table and called out to a very quiet household. "I'm leaving." When no one answered him, he just shrugged his shoulders and walked toward the front door.

Before even turning the door knob the voice of a young kid rang throughout the house. "Jace! Wait, Jace!"

Jace saw the youngest Lightwood, Max, come barreling down the stairs carrying a comic book in his hand. "Hey there, big man. What are you doing?"

Max held up the comic book, "I wanted to show you this before you left. Simon brought it over for me!" The little kid was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet out of excitement.

"That's awesome! Where is Simon? I didn't see him here." Jace looked around the empty living room and kitchen, as if he would pop out at any moment.

Max scrunched up his face, "He's in Izzy's room. She said they had to do grown-up stuff."

Jace's eyebrow went up in amusement. This was a new turn in their relationship. "Well, is Alec home?" When Max nodded he added, "Why don't you go read your comic to him and when I get back you can read it to me, okay?"

The boy nodded excitedly, turned and ran back up the stairs. Jace chuckled to himself and left the house.

On the way to Clary's house, he made a quick stop. When he went to pay, the old woman who owned the warehouse shook her head.

"It's on the house, Jace. Enjoy your date." She smiled at him.

Jace leaned over the counter and pecked her on the cheek. "Thanks, Patty." He got back in his car and zoomed off to Clary's house.

When she answered the door, his jaw almost dropped. She was wearing a brown and white stripped sundress that stopped just above her knees. The skinny straps holding the dress up left most of her shoulders bare and the V-shaped dip in the front stopped just about the crest of her breasts. Her untamable red curly hair hung past her shoulders freely, just as he liked it. She looked absolutely beautiful.

Still admiring her body, Jace silently offered the single red rose that he picked up. He watched her face a smile broke out. She took the rose in one hand; the other held a white cardigan.

"Thank you," she whispered before she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a long kiss.

"You really are taking this whole 'old fashioned' thing seriously." Clary noted as Jace held the passenger door open for her.

Shrugging, Jace replied, "What can I say? I'm a gentleman." He winked at her before going over to the driver's side and getting in.

They pulled into the parking lot of a small diner that they both loved. Since they were regulars everyone that was working that night said hi to them. They were seated and their usual order was brought out within minutes. Even though they've done this dozens of times, Jace felt like it was their first date again. They talked for a while, Jace would just watch her for a few moments, Clary would blush and ask what he was looking at, and Jace would answer with: "Something beautiful", causing Clary's blush to deepen.

When they got to the movie theater, Jace once again paid for everything. They sat in the back of the little theatre and he put his arm around Clary. He had no clue what the movie was about. His focus was on Clary. He would stare at the screen for a bit, then turn and stare at her. About half way through the movie, Clary snuggled in closer to him. Jace couldn't resist any longer, he leaned over and kissed her. After that, he lost all hope of even trying to understand what the movie was about. Not that he wanted to.

Once the movie was over, Jace drove back to Clary's house. They were standing on her front porch while she tried to convince him to stay.

"Are you sure you can't stay? Not even for a little bit?" She was unlocking the door with one hand while holding Jace's with the other.

Even has she guided him through the door into the dark, empty house, he feebly tried to resist. "Clare, I have a game tomorrow." It didn't matter though, and he knew it. No matter what excuse he gave her, he wasn't going anywhere. If she wanted him there, he was going to stay. Hell, she could ask him to jump off a bridge for her and he'd do it.

"Shh," still holding his hand, Clary led him up the stairs.

Once in her room, Clary pressed her lips against his. Jace's arms wrapped themselves around her waist and pulled her closer, neither changing the speed or dynamic of the soft kiss. She broke away first only to remove his shirt. Her hand glided up and down his bare chest, making his heart beat ten times faster than normal. Eventually his hand found the hem of her dress and he pulled that off of her. Standing, both half naked in the middle of her room, Jace began to gently push Clary back until the back of her knees hit the bed. He laid her down and climbed on top of her, hovering over while bracing his own weight with his arms. They simply stared into each other's eyes for a while, breathing heavily. Finally Jace bent down and captured her lips with his and he spent the rest of the night drowned in everything that was Clary.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm soooo sorry that I've made you all wait so long! The only excuse I can give is college. Anyway, I hope a bit of this cute-ness will make up for such a long wait. :) I hope none of you are bothered by my mostly Jace POV scenes. I love reading from the guy's POV and I also love writing it!**

**Just a note on the timeline of the Jace/Clary relationship: I completely miscalculated how long they've been together. They are in their second year of dating - meaning that their second anniversary will be coming up soon. Not the third as I originally wrote. I'm going to go back and change that. Sorry for the confusion. If you have any questions just ask and I'll trying to explain better. **

**As always, thank you so so much to everyone who reads, reviews, and adds this story to their favorites/alerts. It really means a lot and keeps me motivated (even when I'm super busy)! Thank you so much! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED IS OWNED BY CASSANDRA CLARE****_

**__So for this chapter there is no specific song(s). This is partly because I was too lazy to take the time to look, and partly because I couldn't find a song, or songs, that would fit this chapter. **

**But if you want a recommendation, listen to _Us_ by Regina Spektor. This is the song I listened to while proofreading the chapter. As usual, the song belongs to Regina and its respectful owners.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Clary was in the process of flipping a pancake when she heard footsteps come down the stairs. Turning around she saw Jace in the archway to the kitchen. He yawned and stretched his arms in the air, making her very aware of his lack of shirt and low-hanging pants. Blushing a little, she turned around and flipped another pancake.<p>

"Morning, Jace." She smiled when she felt his warm arms around her waist and his face nuzzled her neck.

"Morning, sweetheart." He looked over her shoulder and kissed her cheek when he spotted the pancakes. "Oooh pancakes. You're the best." She placed two on a plate and passed it to him; he then poured way too much maple syrup on them – just like he liked it. He sat himself down on a stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen and dug right in.

Clary watched as he shoveled in forkfuls of pancakes into his mouth. She always found him to be adorable in the morning, even if he ate like a caveman sometimes. He may be hot during the day, and even at night, but when he first wakes up in the morning a newborn puppy couldn't compare.

"You're staring at me," Jace said between bites.

Clary shrugged, "You're right in front of me, it's convenient."

"So, afru gretra toera?"

She giggled, "What was that?"

"So are you going to the game today?" He repeated, after he swallowed a mouthful of pancakes.

"Of course. It starts at 2pm right?"

"Mhmm," Jace glanced at the clock on the microwave above the over and noticed that it was almost 11:30. "I should get going soon."

"But you just woke up," Clary protested.

He grinned. "Well maybe if someone didn't keep me up late last night I would have woken up sooner."

"I am in no way taking any blame for that. It's all on you," she teased.

"Oh yeah? Well - "

A voice coming from the stairs interrupted Jace. "Do I smell pancakes?"

Although she knew she shouldn't have been, Clary was surprised to see Aline enter the kitchen. She saw Jace tense when Aline leaned on the island next to him. She looked at Clary with a look of expectation on her face.

"Oh, um… Yeah, I made a few pancakes. There are two left, do you want them?" Clary offered.

"Clare, you need to eat too." Jace said, knowing that the two pancakes were for her.

Clary was already putting the pancakes on a plate, "Don't worry I can make more. In fact I should make some for Jon too. Can you go wake him up, Aline?"

Aline left the kitchen and headed towards the stairs. When Jace knew she couldn't hear him he asked, "Why are you being so nice to her? I thought you didn't like her."

Clary shrugged while mixing more pancake batter. "I don't' know. I feel like I should give her another chance…maybe? Her cousin seems nice, totally different from what I first thought he was like."

"And what did you first think he was?" Jace prompted.

"Creep, I guess. But he's actually nice, and funny. He makes fun of Mr. Baron all the time during class."

"So what, you guys are friends now?" His expression was guarded and she could hear just a touch of jealousy in his voice. Normally, she would find his possessiveness cute; but today she didn't want to deal with it. Especially since she happened to _like_ being friends with Sebastian.

She shrugged again, trying her best to play it cool. "I don't really know. We talk during our _one_ class together. Don't worry, he's not moving in on your territory or whatever you men are so afraid of." She leaned over the countertop and plucked a quick kiss on Jace's mouth, then turned her attention back to the stove. Jace grumbled something behind her, but she didn't ask what he said.

The rest of the morning passed by pretty quickly. Clary, Jace, Jon, and Aline sat at the island and finished up the pancakes that Clary made. The conversation was a bit strained but soon enough the boys left to go warm up at the gym before their game. Aline offered to stay behind and help Clary with the dishes, which she was grateful for.

As Clary walked Aline to the door when they were finished, Aline turned to Clary and said, "You know, you're really lucky to find someone like Jace."

"I know I am," was all she said.

"But, you also know that someone like him isn't going to stay in one place for long, right?"

They reached the front door and both girls were now just standing in front of it, staring at one another.

"_What is that supposed to mean?_" Clary snapped.

"Oh, come on, Clary. Guys as hot as Jace don't like to be with just one girl. They like to get around."

Clary narrowed her eyes, "Jace isn't like that."

Aline shrugged, "Whatever." She opened the door and before she stepped she turned back. "But I know guys like him. They're all the same."

As Clary watched Aline walk down her driveway, she mentally decided that she did not like her.

o.O.o

Jace walked into the locker room with Jon about an hour before the game. They didn't really need the whole hour to warm up, but it was good for the whole team to get psyched-up together.

As he laced up his shoes Alec came up to him. "Hey, you didn't come home last night. Where were you?"

"Where do you think?" Jace answered, grinning.

"Ah, Clary's."

"Of course; where else would I be?"

Alec shrugged, "It's just that you normally don't stay with her the night before a game. Let alone the first game."

Jace looked to the ground. "I try not to stay over the nights before games." He looked up at Alec and flashed him a half smile. "But I'm not very good at telling her no."

"I totally get ya, man." Alec said, at the same time one of their teammates said: "Dude, you're so whipped."

Jace just rolled his eyes and looked at who said that. He didn't recognize him, must have been a second string player. "Whatever, at least I don't need to be actually _whipped_ by my girl to do what she wants."

To Jace's and Alec's complete surprise, the kid actually turned a bit red. _Wow_, Jace thought, _that was supposed to be joke. _

Just as the kid opened his mouth to reply, Sebastian stuck his head inside the door. "Guys, coach wants us on the court."

"Game time," Alec said to Jace as they made their way out of the locker room.

"…and remember, work as a single unit, as a team." The coach finished up his pre-game speech, turned to Jace and nodded.

Jace stood surrounded by teammates and looked at each one of them. "Okay, you heard what coach said. We work as a team. Remember to pass quickly but accurately." He looked toward some of the younger guys. "Don't get discouraged by anyone on that team. They're no tougher than you or I." Addressing the entire team again he continued, "This team will be easy to beat, but don't get cocky. We can kick their asses with a level head. So let's go out there and do it!"

The huddle cheered in unity and broke away. Some of the players made their way to the bench while the starters – which included Jace, Alec, Jon, and Sebastian – took their positions. A junior by the name of Roberson tipped, and the game begun.

Adrenaline pumped through Jace's veins. He loved running and exercising, but nothing gave him a high like basketball did. Well, except for Clary. But she gave him a different high all together. The defenders were working on blocking the other team from scoring and Jace took that opportunity to glance quickly at the bleachers. It didn't take him long to lock onto the fiery red hair attached to the most gorgeous face he'd ever seen. Although, at that moment he couldn't actually see her face. She was bent over her sketchbook with her charcoal pencil in hand. He smiled to himself and forced himself back into reality and game.

By half-time they were up by six points. East Ridge was actually putting up a fight, but Jace wasn't concerned. As he took a long pull from his water bottle he noticed that Sebastian was doing the same. And staring at something in the bleachers. Or rather _someone._ Curiosity and suspicion getting the better of him, Jace followed the other boy's line of sight. Sure enough, he was staring at Clary. _His _Clary. Her head was still bent over her sketchbook and her hand was at a furious pace. He glanced between Sebastian and Clary a few times before leaving his gaze on her. As if feeling the weight of both boys' gaze on her, she stopped abruptly and looked up. Her eyes found Sebastian first and she frowned. She looked back down at her sketchbook for a few seconds before looking up again and searching the court for Jace. Once she found him, she smiled and gave him a little wave. He didn't wave back, but he smiled at her until the harsh sound of the whistle propelled him back into the game.

At the end of the game, East Ridge was defeated 23-16. Jace and his team whooped and hollered off the court and into the locker room. Some of the guys took their time getting unchanged and/or showered. But Jace just wanted to get out of there and see Clary, who always waited for him in the hallway just outside the locker room.

When he found her, the first thing he noticed was that she wasn't alone. The second thing he noticed was that it was Sebastian Verlac keeping her company. Her back was against the wall and Sebastian stood in front of her, cutting off her view of the locker room door – and Jace.

Jealousy ran through Jace's veins. He knew he was possessive and jealous, and he knew that it was unreasonable. But that didn't stop him from wanting to gouge any guy's eyes out for even looking at Clary the wrong way.

As he got closer to the two he heard Clary's light laughter. It caused him to ask, more sharply than he intended, "What's so funny?"

Clary's head poked around Sebastian and a bright smile light up her face. Jace couldn't help but smile back also. "Jace!" She ran around to him and flung herself into his arms. He could feel himself begin to release the tension in his body as he held onto her. "Great game, congratulations on your first win!"

"Thanks, sweetheart." He said and placed a gentle kiss on her waiting lips. "Now, tell me what you were laughing at," this time he said it more gently. He truly was curious; he didn't think of Sebastian as the "funny guy" type, but Clary certainly thought he was.

"Oh, I was just telling her how I saw Mrs. Lucas buying three bags of cat food at the supermarket and made a crack about her being a lonely old cat lady." Sebastian answered for her.

Jace just nodded; he had enough of the small talk. Looking at Clary he said, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Just as they began walking away, Sebastian called out. "Clary, are you going to the party tonight?"

Jace didn't miss the fact that Sebastian only asked Clary. It irked him, but he stayed silent again.

"Um…well, I usually don't go to the after-parties."

Jace looked at Clary, "You know, you're always welcome. I tell you that every time."

She looked at the floor uncomfortably, "It's a team thing. You have to have your fun too."

Jace opened his mouth, but Sebastian spoke first. "You should come tonight, it'll be fun. They're will be enough people to keep you entertained while Wayland is off socializing."

He knew it was meant as a joke, but Jace was aware of the insecurities Sebastian was unintentionally playing on. Placing a comforting arm around Clary's waist, he told her, "It's up to you. Don't feel like you have to go, but you're always welcome to come."

She looked between the two of them. "Fine, I'll go. But at least let me bring Izzy."

Jace smiled. "Of course." With a nod to Sebastian he said, "Later, Verlac." and steered Clary away from him and towards the door.

"Did you see that Iz brought Max today?" She asked as they walked out the door and towards his car.

Jace raised his eyebrows, "Um, yeah. I saw them in the bleachers." He, in fact, did not see them. He rarely saw anyone he knew in the crowds. Except Clary; she was the only one he actually looked forward to seeing.

"Mhmm." Seeing right through him as usual, Clary asked, "So when Izzy asks where they sat you can tell them with absolute certainty?"

Jace coughed and decided to change the subject. "Why wasn't Simon with them? What's going on with that?"

Clary grinned, "They sat to the left of me, about three rows from the top." She slid in the passenger seat when he opened the door for her, "Thank you."

"No, thank you. I won't have to tell Max that I didn't see him." He said with obvious relief. "There is nothing sadder than his disappointed face."

o.O.o.

Half of Clary's closet was lying on her bed, she staring at the piles of clothes when she heard a knock on her door. She was expecting Izzy to help her pick out an outfit for the party. However, it wasn't Izzy on the other side of the door. It was Simon.

"Oh, hey Si. What are you doing here?" She held the door open so he could come in.

Simon looked around Clary's living room quickly before answering. "Um, is Isabelle here?"

"Not yet. She's supposed to help me find something to wear." She followed Simon into the kitchen, where he helped himself to a glass of water. "Simon, what is going on?"

He didn't meet her gaze, but seemed to be studying the glass of water in his hand. "I…sort of…kissed her."

"Really?" Clary asked excitedly. She was prepared to ask more questions, but stopped when she saw the stricken look on his face. "Wait, why don't you look happy; this is good, right? I mean, you both like each other, that much is obvious."

"Well that's the thing. I think we like each other, I mean, I like her – _a lot._ But…I've been sort of…avoiding her."

Clary was confused," Um…_why_? You know, avoiding her isn't the best way to let her know that you like her."

Simon put his head in his hands, "I know, I know. But what if she doesn't like me? You know I've never had a girlfriend before; she was the first girl I've ever kissed. What if it wasn't good? What if she doesn't even like me?"

"Well, has she tried to talk to you?"

"…Yes."

"Then I think it's pretty obvious. Why are you still avoiding her?"

Just as Simon opened his mouth to answer, the doorbell rang again. "That's probably her, Si." Clary said, leaving the kitchen to answer the door. She opened the door and saw Izzy, and a huge pile of clothes in her arms.

"Hey Clary, I wasn't sure what I had to work with, clothes-wise, so I brought some stuff over. Just a few shirts and a couple of skirts, and why are you standing awkwardly in front of the door? You know I can't pick you a knockout outfit out here, right?" Izzy tried to walk through the door but Clary was stood in her way.

"Well, you see, before you got here… Simon stopped by. And is still here," She spit out. She was awful at keeping things from Izzy and even worse at lying in general. Having told her, Clary opened the door wider and stepped out of the way. "He told me what happened – sort of. So," she took the clothes from Izzy's arms, "I'll just take these off your hands. You should go talk to him."

"But Clary, he doesn't want to talk to me. I've tried calling him. I even asked him to come to the game with me, but he hasn't been answering me." She looked down at the floor. She looked oddly vulnerable, Clary thought. She wondered how _much_ they liked each other.

"Well, I think he's feeling a bit nervous. He's in the kitchen, I don't think he will blow you off if you're here in person." With that Clary left the other girl standing in her living room while she went upstairs.

She laid out Izzy's clothes and just looked at them for a moment. The shirts Izzy mentioned could have been dresses on Clary. Compared to Izzy's wardrobe, hers looked plain and boring. A lot of Izzy's clothes were wild and bold, something Clary didn't think she could pull off. She picked up one of the more normal-looking shirts. It was a silver, three-quarter length sleeve shirt, with a V-neck that wasn't too low. It had a swirling pattern covered with a light dusting of silver glitter. She held it up to her body and thought that it was short enough to wear a pair of skinny jeans and Converse with it.

After changing into her new outfit, she pulled her hair out of the ponytail she had it in for the game and shook her hair out. It looked brighter against the silver, but thankfully didn't frizz too much. She parted it to the side and put a minimal amount of make-up on: a little powder and a thin layer of eyeliner on the top eyelids and mascara. Looking in the mirror, she thought she did a pretty good job. Then, glancing at the alarm clock on her bedside table, she saw that it took her about 15 minutes to get ready. Not wanting to intrude on whatever Izzy and Simon were discussing, Clary sat on her bed, surrounded by clothes, and waited for Izzy to come upstairs.

About a half hour later, Clary heard the front door close and Izzy come up the stairs. "So?" She asked once the other girl entered her room.

Izzy looked flushed, but smiled and said, "He told me that he was just nervous to ask me out. I really was worried about nothing."

Clary smiled back, genuinely happy for her friend. "See, I told you. I'm happy for you guys. Wait, he did ask you out, and you did say yes, right?"

Izzy's smile widened, "Of course – on both counts. Now stand up, I want to see what you look like." She made Clary spin around twice before speaking her approval. "You look great. I brought the earrings that match that shirt, if you want." She pulled out a pair of dangly earrings out of her jeans pocket, placed them on Clary's desk, and surveyed the remaining clothes on the bed. "Oooh, and you left me the good dress." Izzy picked up a red dress that would have stopped a few inches above Clary's knee; on Izzy, she figured that it would probably stop about mid-thigh. Clary just laughed lightly as Izzy left her bedroom to get changed in the bathroom.

The house the party was being held at was pretty big. It was definitely owned by someone rich, Clary thought. There were a ton of people there, even though it was supposed to be a "team thing". She knew about these kinds of parties. There would be kegs, loud music, drunken couples in bedrooms, and some not even in bedrooms. This wasn't where she belonged; she belonged in her basement with a paint brush in her hand. And that is exactly where she wished she was; she suddenly thought coming to this party was a bad idea.

Inside, Izzy knew most of the people there and left Clary to socialize. Not that she minded, but that now left her to walk around on her own and look for people she knew. She nursed a cup of beer, mostly because it gave her something to hold onto and partly because she actually liked beer. She drank it a few times at other parties she went to with Jace. As childish as it was, she was amused by the foam the most.

Clary walked around the main floor of whosever house was used for the party before a familiar mess of golden-blonde hair caught her attention. He was standing in a circle with a bunch of other people, his back was to her. Next to him stood Aline, and next to her stood Jon with his arm around her waist. What Clary was most aware of, however, was how close Jace and Aline were. There was maybe an inch, if that, between them. Her shoulder was almost touching his. Her words came back with full force in Clary's mind. _They're all the same._

She wanted to stand next to Jace and show Aline, and everyone else, that he was with her. Just her. But as she approached the group, she heard some guy say, "…then she gave me head." Everyone laughed, even Jace, at the guy's joke.

She turned around and found an empty spot on a couch in the living room. Her spot gave her a pretty good view of the group; part of her felt ridiculous for even wanting to keep an eye on Jace – and especially Aline – but another part of her felt that it was okay. She told Jace that he needed to have his fun, without her, and she stuck by that. But now that she was here, she wanted to see what kind of fun that was. It was masochistic, but she desperately wanted to see how he acted around other people, people who didn't wear their insecurities on their sleeves like she did.

Clary saw girls like Aline every day. They were sexy, clever, confident. All the things she knew she wasn't. She didn't know what Jace saw in her; surely he could have anyone he wanted. That fact constantly ate away at her stomach, slowly driving her crazy. And Aline's earlier statements only added fuel to the fire. What if she was right and Jace never changed? What if he was cheating on her? She would be able to tell; wouldn't she? Or was she too naïve to believe in silly things like hope and love?

"Hey, Clary," Sebastian's voice pulled her out of her depressing thoughts. He was standing and nodded to the empty spot next to her.

"Hey Sebastian. Of course, sit down. What's up?"

"I've talked to pretty much everyone I know here already, and I saw you sitting by yourself." He leaned closer to her, "Are you okay? You looked like you were totally spaced out."

Clary shrugged, "It happens sometimes. This isn't really my scene. I know who a lot of these people are, but I'm not really friends with any of them."

"Well I'll chill with you. I've got no problem with that." Sebastian smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. He really did seem to be a nice guy. And he knew that Clary was with Jace so he didn't give her a reason to second guess him.

"You don't have to stay," she said politely, silently hoping that he would stay and keep her company.

"Nah, it's cool. I want to; actually I wanted to ask you something." Clary nodded and he continued, "I was wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow and study for that test we have on Tuesday."

"Oh," she normally did her math homework with Jace on Sundays, but she guessed he would be fine on his own for one week. "Sure, that sounds good. What time?"

"How does lunchtime sound? We could eat something before starting, brain-food and all that right?"

Clary smiled at the idea of hanging out with Sebastian, "Yeah, sounds like it will be fun."

"Yeah. So," he hesitated for a moment, "where's Wayland? I figured he'd be attached to your side or something."

"He's been over there for a while. I try to give him his space." She nodded toward the group of people she saw him with before.

"Oh," an uncommon awkward silence passed between them. It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, but since they haven't experienced an uncomfortable silence since they met, it felt longer.

"What is it?" Clary asked.

"Well, it's just that whole group. They're all kind of assholes; well the ones on the team are at least. I don't really know the others, but I bet their pretty similar."

"What makes them assholes?"

"All they do is talk and joke about girls and sex, it's pretty shallow actually." Sebastian saw Clary furrow her brows and look in Jace's direction. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. He's over there. It's just I hate when guys talk about sex like it's nothing and girls like they can just be thrown away."

Clary looked at him, surprised. She didn't know of many guys that felt like that, let alone voice it. Nonetheless, she didn't want to be around Jace if he was acting like that. She believed strongly that he needed to blow off steam with his friends, and she didn't need to be there when it happened.

She stood and gave Sebastian an apologetic smile, "I know you said you'd stay with me, but I think I'm going to head home. Could you track down Isabelle for me and tell her that I went home?"

"Of course; are you okay to go home by yourself?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, I live just a couple of blocks away. We walked here so I'll be fine." She turned to go tell Jace that she was leaving, when she remembered something. Turning around, she saw Sebastian standing up. She walked over to him, "Hey I forgot to ask, where do you live?"

"On Tripley Street, it's the blue house about halfway down on the right side. You can text me tomorrow if you can't find it."

"Okay, thanks. See you tomorrow." She waited for him to say the same before going over to Jace.

She tapped him on the shoulder and before she could open her mouth to say anything, Jace pulled her to him and kissed her full on the mouth. It was so quick and she was too shocked that she didn't react to it. When he pulled back he smiled. "Hey, where have you been?"

"Over there," she pointed to the couch she was previously sitting on. "I was talking to Sebastian. But I'm kind of tired so I'm going to go home."

Jace looked confused, "But didn't you just get here?"

Clary shook her head. "I've been here for about an hour." Looking down, she saw her almost full cup of beer. She handed it to Jace, "Here, I'm going to go home." She kissed him lightly on the lips and went to step out of his embrace.

But he caught her wrist, "We're doing our homework tomorrow, right?"

"Well," she felt strangely uncomfortable tell Jace about her plans. Without looking at him directly in the eye she said, "I kind of told Sebastian that I would study with him for our first geography test."

He let go of her, "Oh, okay. But we'll talk tomorrow at least?"

Clary smiled, "Of course. Have fun." She turned away and walked away from Jace.

On the walk home Clary battled with her feelings. She spent so much time Jace not because she had to, but because she truly wanted to. Now that she had plans without him, she was surprised at feeling slightly relieved. She never not wanted to be with Jace. Even though she looked forward to the next day, she went to sleep confused about not wanting to be spend time with Jace – but especially _why_.

o.O.o

Clary woke up in the morning even more confused than the previous night because that feeling of relief hadn't gone away. She pushed it to the back of her mind as she got ready to go to Sebastian's. She showered and dressed in jeans and dorky gamer-tee that Simon gave her a few birthdays ago. Knowing that she was going to eat lunch at Sebastian's house, Clary made herself a light breakfast. By the time she finished all that it was about 11:30. She grabbed her book bag and shoved her geography book and notebook inside and walked out the door.

Sebastian's house was nice, it looked very…domestic. There was a short white fence that lined the front and sides of the perfectly mowed and landscaped front lawn. There was even a blue mailbox with the name _Penhallow_ on the side. Clary walked up the brick walkway to the porch and rang the doorbell.

Sebastian answered immediately, smiled and greeted her, and let her into his house. She could definitely tell that there was an Asian influence, seeing that most of the décor was oriental. It was very spacious; there was a living room off the right and a kitchen that opened up to a dining area to the left. She saw a staircase past the living room that she figured led to the bedrooms.

After taking it all in, she turned to Sebastian. "You're house is beautiful."

He smiled; he was always smiling at her, "Thanks. The décor is by my aunt and uncle, they lived in Beijing for a while."

Looking around, she could see how some of the stuff had to be completely authentic. "Well I like it."

"They'll be happy to hear it. They just went back to close up the house they have there. It'll just be us here today, I hope that's alright." He looked a little worried.

"It's fine. Where are we going to study?"

"You don't waste time, do you?" He laughed. "I figured we could eat something and study at the table. I have stuff the make sandwiches, chips, and soda. That should be good, right?" Clary watched as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out about 8 different bags of various cheeses and meats. Next he brought out two different kinds of breads, three kinds of chips, and four flavors of soda.

With wide eyes, Clary answered, "Yeah, that should be plenty."

After a while, their plates were in the kitchen sink, all three bags of chips were left on the table, and Clary and Sebastian's books were spread out.

"I still don't understand where these names come from. Did someone sneeze a really, really long time ago and it sounded like Constantinople and so that was what they named the city? It doesn't make sense to me." Sebastian complained.

Clary laughed, "I don't think that's how it worked. But to be honest, I don't get it either. I just memorize the names and hope I remember them correctly on the test."

"Right," he smiled – again. They were sitting on the same side of the table since Sebastian spilled his soda on his side while they were eating. Now, side by side, he stared at Clary. It was one of those moments Clary knew, if she was looking at him in the eye, would be described as "looking deeply into each other's eyes".

But she didn't look into his eyes, instead she looked back down at her notes. "So, after the fall of Constantinople, the city was renamed Istanbul."

Sebastian made a noncommittal noise and Clary sighed. "Sebastian, we're almost done. We just need to focus on - " But she looked up at him and he caught her lips with his.

Both of their eyes closed on instinct. It wasn't a long kiss, or a wet kiss; it wasn't exactly a type of kiss. It was short and light, it was a barely-there kiss. Sebastian brushed his lips against hers, and then pulled back slightly. He hovered just out of reach, waiting to see what Clary would do. His breath was hot and heavy on her cheeks, even though they had done nothing that would result in his loss of breath.

Once the realization of what happened caught up to her, Clary recoiled. She back away so fast that she almost fell out of her chair. Grabbing her book and notebook she said, "I have to go."

Her words seemed to awaken Sebastian. He stood up fast, knocking his chair over. "Clary, I'm sorry. I just… I couldn't… I'm sorry." He followed her out the door and down the walkway before saying something again. "Don't let this change anything. It was my mistake and I'm sorry. But don't let this change us."

Clary turned back to face him, her eyes wide and panicked. "Don't tell Jace; don't tell anyone," was the only thing she said.

She walked away at a speed that could be categorized as power walking. She had no idea what to feel first. Anger, guilt, fear. They all came at once. What had just happened? Why did Sebastian kiss her? _What was she going to tell Jace?_ She knew that she couldn't tell him. He'd be furious, and she couldn't lose him, not because of something someone else had done. No, she wouldn't tell him. Not how close they sat, not how the kiss couldn't technically be called a kiss but at the same time it could be, not how she felt. Because she definitely felt _something;_ and it wasn't necessarily bad. That, above all else, scared her more than anything.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, first off let me say I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT! I know that it has been about two months, and I have no excuse. This chapter was pretty hard for me to get into. But - there is is good news - I have big plans for this story and within the next few chapters things will start moving along. As you could see, a lot happened in this chapter. So bear with me while I try to update on a normal schedule (like that will happen). **

**Again, sorry for the wait, but I hope this chapter made up for it. **

**Thank you so so much to all my readers, and to those who reviewed and/or added this to their favorites/alerts! I cannot stress enough how awesome you guys are :)**


	6. Chapter 6

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE****  
><em>

**Chapter Songs: Home - Philip Phillips**

** Blind - Lifehouse**

* * *

><p><em>**Two Years Ago**<em>

_Clary sat in chorus class absentmindedly drawing circles in her notebook while her teacher talked about how important music was. She was never highly fond of chorus, but every freshman needed to take music elective. She choose chorus partly because she had a nice voice, but mostly because she didn't know how to play anything other than the guitar – and they didn't have a class for that. _

_It was the end of May and they had already put on their final concert, which was why the teacher was lecturing instead of singing. As her circles became unnamable polygons, Clary's mind drifted. _

_She thought of her brother, Jonathon Morgenstern, who came to live with them last month. Unsure of the specifics, she assumed that he got in some trouble with his father or something similar. Even though she knew of his existence, Clary never heard her mother speak of him. She knew that he was a year older than her, and that he must resemble their father since he and their mother looked nothing alike. It didn't matter all that much, however, because he seemed to want nothing to do with Clary._

_He only spoke to her when he needed to. He rarely looked at her directly. He didn't seem to have the same curiosity about suddenly having a sibling that Clary did. Overall, he just seemed annoyed that she was there._

_But what really bothered her was how he treated their mother. Where he just ignored Clary, Jonathan went out of his way to let Jocelyn know that he didn't want to be there – living with them._

_Because the move was so sudden, Clary assumed that Jonathan was a 'trouble-maker'. But the only interest that he pursued was basketball. He talked to the coach, tried out, and was added immediately; but since it was the end of the season he only practiced with the team. Clary had only seen two games and wasn't able to tell if her brother was better than Jace._

_Not that she thought about Jace. Much. _

_She didn't think about the day they met, a few months ago. Or how he hadn't said anything to her since. Or the rumors she heard about who he dated. She didn't dwell on the fact that he had three girlfriends in three months. Or the obvious fact that he moved on quickly._

_Clary was pulled out of her thoughts and doodling when her teacher called her name. _

"_Yes?" She said nervously, hoping that she had to answer a question she didn't hear._

"_You're wanted in the main office. You may take all of your things."_

_After she gathered her things, she mumbled a "Thanks" and she left the classroom._

_As she walked down the hall she tried to push her non-thoughts of Jace to the back of her mind. If she was honest with herself, Clary didn't know if she spent more time thinking about Jace or thinking that she _shouldn't _be thinking about him._

_But it didn't matter, because he hasn't spoken to her since they met._

_o.O.o_

_Jace watched as Clary left the classroom. They never talked, except for that one day when he heard her singing and playing the piano. In fact, she never looked over at him from the soprano section to the tenor._

_He thought about her constantly after first meeting her. He even thought about asking her out, but he knew that she wouldn't fit in with his group. So instead he went out with Kaelie, then Ashley, then Brittney. They were all the same._

_Before he could comprehend what he was doing, his hand shot up, "Mr. Banner, can I go to the bathroom?"_

_Mr. Banner stopped talking to the class and said, "Mr. Wayland, this is the third time this week that you went to the restrooms during my class. Next week I suggest that you choose a different class."_

_Without responding Jace tucked his books underneath his arm and walked out of the classroom. But instead of turning left towards the bathrooms he went right, towards the main office. _

_Just as he went to open the door it burst open and Jonathan Morgenstern walked out, calling over his shoulder, "I don't really care" then added, "Hey Wayland" when he saw Jace standing there._

_Jace simply nodded. He didn't really know Jonathan's story, nor did he care enough to find out. All he knew was that he was Clary's brother and he was good at basketball. But not the best. That status belonged to Jace, even though he was only a sophomore. _

_He walked into the office his eyes immediately sought out Clary. He saw her standing with the vice principle, wiping her eyes. She was crying._

_The receptionist's desk was up against the right wall of the lobby/waiting area. Behind it sat the receptionist, Mrs. H. Jace walked over to her and leaned on the desk. "Hi Mrs. H, you're looking lovely today!"_

_Mrs. H was a widow and about 60 years old with gray frizzing hair that was coming out of her bun and reading glasses that sat halfway down her nose. "Please, Jace" she said, blushing a little. "I'm old enough to be your grandmother. How are you today?"_

"_I'm fine, would be better if it was last period, but what can I do?" Then he lowered his voice, "I was actually hoping you could help me out."_

_Mrs. H stopped typing and looked at Jace, "With what?"_

_He pointed with his head toward the vice principle and Clary, who were now sitting. "What's going on with her?"_

"_Oh, the poor dear. Her mother was in a pretty bad accident and was life-flighted to the hospital. She had no way of getting there so they called her brother down and asked if he would take her, but he said no. He actually looked offended when they asked; my guess is that he isn't too fond of his mother. So I don't know how she is going to get to the hospital. Even if she waits until after school it's still too far to walk from here."_

_For the second time Jace acted without thinking. He walked over to the Clary and the vice principle and said, "I'll take her."_

_o.O.o_

_When neither of them spoke, he added, "To the hospital, I mean."_

_Clary was paralyzed. She felt more shocked than when she was told about her mother's accident. _

_Her mother, the vice principle had told her, was driving across the street and was hit by another car whose driver ran the red light. He wanted to spare Clary the details, but she insisted on knowing what happened. According to the police, the other car hit the driver's side, trapping Jocelyn inside. The EMTs weren't sure of the extent of the damage yet, but they were confident enough to say that she would have a severe concussion and a few broken ribs – amongst other injuries. _

_When the vice principle first told her that there was an accident, Clary was so shocked that she didn't know what to say. Questions flooded her mind too quickly to figure out which one to ask first. She ended up asking if she could leave school, and of course, the vice principle had agreed. The only problem was that she didn't drive. When they asked Jonathan he immediately scoffed and said he didn't care enough to go see their mother. _

_Somewhere in the back of her mind Clary knew that she shouldn't have been surprised or expected him to help her. He had been nothing but cold to both her and Jocelyn during the past month. But after seeing him walk out she couldn't help but start to cry._

_The vice principle had been trying to calm her down when Jace came out of nowhere and announced that he would take her to the hospital._

_Time seemed to slow down; she seemed frozen as she watched as the events around her happened slow motion. The vice principle accepted Jace's offer on her behalf. They were both dismissed to retrieve the things they needed to leave school. Clary had no idea what she needed so she just dumped everything she had in her arms into her backpack and made her way back to the office._

_She made it back before Jace did, which gave her time to think. How could her mother have been in an accident? Why was it her? Why couldn't it have been anyone else? Did she even say 'I love you' to her mother this morning? Why did a boy who hasn't talked to her in three months offer to take her to the hospital? And why, above all else, did Clary dwell on Jace so much when it was her mother she could be thinking about?_

"_Clary," a hand was gently shaking her. "Clary, you in there?"_

_She picked her gaze up from the floor and was immediately met with the gold eyes of Jace. "Sorry," she stood up on shaky legs. "Ready to go?"_

_He offered her a hand to help steady her. "Only if you are; we could wait if you need more time."_

"_No, I need go. I…" a sickening realization settled over her. With panic evident in her voice she said, "She's all alone. No one will be there for her."_

"_Okay then, let's get going." Jace didn't release her hand as he walked out of the office, and a few seconds later, the school as well. _

_Once in the parking lot Clary called out, "You don't need to keep holding my hand, you know."_

"_Don't want you falling behind." He winked over his should at her._

_She offered a small smile, grateful for the attempt to make her feel better. However, her mind was still racing. She had no idea what type of condition Jocelyn was in, or her survival rate._

_Clary managed to mutter a "Thanks" when Jace opened the passenger door for her._

_When he got in, instead of the starting the car, he squeezed Clary's hand. "We'll be there soon, I promise."_

_And promise he did. Clary knew that it should have taken longer than ten minutes to get to the hospital; it should have taken at least twenty. But just like everything else he did, Jace was confident in his driving. He went through every yellow light, passed every car that was in his way, and went almost double the speed limit. Clary wanted to ask if he was worried about getting a ticket, but she couldn't bring herself to care that much. All she could think about was getting to her mother._

_Before the car was fully stopped, Clary jumped out and ran for the nearest entrance. Once inside she found a receptionist and demanded, "Where is Jocelyn Fray?"_

_The receptionist didn't look up from her computer, "Name?"_

"_Clarissa Fray, I'm her daughter. She was in a car accident and was brought into the emergency room. Where is she?" She was becoming hysterical, and she knew it. But the receptionist was moving too slow for her liking._

_Finally the receptionist looked up from her screen and slowly explained where to go. "Walk down this hallway, make at left at the end. There is a nurses' station in the middle a little ways down, you can't miss it. Tell them your mother's name and your relation to her. They will take you to her." Then she added sarcastically, without a smile, "Have a nice day."_

_Clary all but ran down the hall. She noticed the signs on the way to the nurses' station that read 'ICU' with an arrow pointed in the direction she was headed. When she finally reached the nurses' station she stopped the first nurse she saw. _

"_I'm Clarissa Fray. I'm looking for my mother, Jocelyn Fray."_

_The nurse looked down at the clipboard she was holding, then looked back at Clary. Sympathy, or pity, was written all over her face. Silently, the nurse gestured for Clary to follow her. The nurse led her over to a closed curtain, when she pushed it back enough for the both of them to enter Clary was able to see her mother for the first time. _

_The woman in the bed didn't look like Jocelyn Fray at all. The majority of her body was covered by the sheet so Clary couldn't see all the injuries, but what she could see didn't look good. Her mother had an ugly white bandage wrapped around her head and there were dark bruises on her face. There were wires sticking out of too many places, and the resuscitator that was hooked up to her looked intrusive and foreign. Jocelyn's red hair, that matched Clary's own, stuck out in the sterile white room. Clary thought she looked so small, so broken, lying unconscious in that bed._

_Unable to move, she asked the nurse, "How is she?"_

"_When she came in she was barely conscious. Some of her ribs were broken from the impact and we had to set them. She went into cardiac arrest during the process, since no one was here for her we had to resuscitate her. After stabilizing her, she became unconscious. After the initial impact, your mother hit her head several times. There were only a couple of severe head injuries, but unfortunately, they are the most likely cause of her coma. Is there anyone you can call that could be here with you?"_

"_There's only one; but he's far away." Her voice was faint, close to breaking. She still couldn't move. Stuck, she could only stare at the woman that did not look like her mother, but who was her mother._

"_I'll leave you alone, but I suggest you call that somebody. Protocol demands that a power of attorney or adult be here."_

_Before the nurse left, Clary stopped her. "Wait. How long does she have? If she is taken off the resuscitator?" She knew her mother would never want this. Jocelyn always described herself as a free spirit, she never wanted to become dependent on a machine. _

"_Not very long, I'm afraid. A few hours at most." She paused again, before walking out. "I'm sorry."_

_Clary's vision blurred; her eyes were clouded with tears. She could no longer hold in the sob that was clawing its way up her throat. She felt her knees give out beneath her, but before she hit the floor a pair of warm, sturdy hands caught her._

_Those hands turned her around. "Jace…" she could barely utter his name as the floodgates opened, releasing the true fear and panic she felt since the vice principle told her about the accident._

_He shushed her as he stoked her hair. His hands framed her face and lifted her head away from his chest so he could look into her eyes; eyes that were filled with pain and anguish. "I'm so sorry, Clary. I wish I could make it all better…for you."_

_And she believed him. She saw in his eyes that he meant what he said. But that didn't mean he could. _

"_But you can't. No one can."_

_He shook his head slowly, sadly. Using his thumbs, he removed the tears that were still on her cheeks then began gently massaging her. He watched as her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted a little._

_Clary felt Jace's hot breath on her face as he moved his closer. Then, she felt the softness of his lips on hers. It was a tentative, gentle caress that made Clary feel like she was floating._

_She knew there were other things she should be focusing on, but at that moment, all she could think of was Jace. Jace, who was here with her – for her – when no one else was. _

* * *

><p>Present Day<p>

* * *

><p>Jace was laying on the couch, casually tossing a basketball in the air and catching it while listening to some nonsense on the TV. He was vaguely aware of the mindless program when he heard Izzy come down the stairs.<p>

"Jace," she said, shocked to see him lying on the couch. "What - ? I thought you would have been with Clary."

"She's off studying with Verlac." Jace waved his hand absentmindedly, but his voice was bitter. "When did they become so buddy-buddy anyway?"

Izzy came and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "They sit next to each other in world geo; he talks to her all the time." She sounded distracted and Jace knew there was something else.

"Iz, what's wrong?"

Slowly, hesitantly, she said, "I wanted to go to the mall, before I went out with Simon. But when I called Clary said she wasn't at Sebastian's. She was crying."

In one smooth move, he swung his legs and sat up. "Where is she?" Urgency and slight panic leaking through his voice.

"I don't know. But she said she wanted to be alone. What do you think happened?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm going to find out."

"Jace, you don't even know where she is; she could be anywhere."

This was true; he thought for a moment. "The last time she said she wanted to be alone was the first anniversary of her mother's death. I found her at the cemetery." He grabbed his keys off the table and threw a barely-there "Thanks, Iz" over his shoulder as he bolted out the door.

Just as he thought, he found her at the cemetery. She was kneeling at her mother's grave. The headstone read "Jocelyn Fray Morgenstern: Beloved friend and mother. January 4, 1973-May 20, 2009".

As he approached her, he heard her say softly, "I just don't know what to do."

Confused by what she was talking about, he cautiously approached her and knelt down beside her. "Clary."

She whipped her head up from the ground and for a fraction of a second he saw panic in her eyes. _What happened?_ He wanted to ask, but left it up to her to tell him. She threw herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was barely able to hear her whisper "Thank you" as tears began to dampen his shirt.

Jace let her be the one to pull back first, and when she did he kept her close by placing a hand on either side of her face and wiping the tears away.

"What are you doing here, Jace?"

"Izzy told me that you were crying and that you wanted to be alone. The last time you said that you came here." He looked around. It was about three in the afternoon, not many people were in the cemetery and those who were kept to themselves.

Clary gave him a small smile, "You really know me."

He smiled back, "Yeah, I do. Clare, are you going to tell me what happened?"

"It was nothing." Using his shoulder for support she stood up and looked down, "I got done early at Sebastian's, still have math homework?"

Still kneeling on the ground, Jace asked, "Did something happen at Sebastian's?" He wasn't sure what he was prepared to hear, but whatever it was he told himself that he would keep his cool. For Clary. But that didn't stop him from blurting out, "If he hurt you, I'll beat the shit out of him."

Clary swallowed and then said, "Nothing happened at Sebastian's."

She looked right into his eyes and her voice didn't waver, but the first thought that flew into Jace's thoughts was _she's lying._ And although that thought was loud and ever-present, a small, disbelieving voice whispered in the back of his mind: _She's never lied to me before._

He gazed up at her for a half a beat more then stood up, "Okay. Want to go then? I do, in fact, still have math homework."

Clary smiled, "You were never going to do it, were you?"

"Nope." He grinned and tucked her tightly under his arm and together they walked out of the grim cemetery.

o.O.o

Monday. School. _Sebastian._ Clary wasn't sure what to expect; part of her wanted to just curl up in her bed and complain that she was sick. But she knew she couldn't do that. Especially after she laughed and smiled, and ultimately, let Jace make her feel better after finding her in the cemetery yesterday.

So she got up, got ready, and went to school. Within her first few steps into the building, a nervous guilt settled over her. She was nervous because she didn't want Sebastian to make a scene – or say anything at all. She was guilty because Jace noticed something was wrong, and when he asked her about it she assured him it was nothing.

By now, Clary had to wait one more period before she had her class with Sebastian. Since Jace gave up on asking what was bothering Clary during lunch, he focused on the worksheet assigned while making small conversation with her.

When the class finally ended, they both took their time packing up their stuff. "So," Clary broke the silence, "want to come over after school? And do homework, or something?" She saw the unmasked surprise on Jace's face and guilt settled in her stomach again. It wasn't the first time she asked him to come over after school, but it was the first time she asked knowing that she had basically avoided him all day.

"Um, yeah, sure. I've got practice until 4, but I'll swing by after." Outside the door to Clary's last class, he leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips. "I'll see you later."

The small smile Clary was wearing vanished the moment Jace's back was turned. She took a deep breath and walked into her World Geography class. Not once did she see Sebastian throughout the day, but that didn't mean she was prepared to seem him now.

There was only about a minute until class started and Sebastian still hadn't shown up. They had a test today and Clary knew their teacher's rule was to start exactly on time, anyone who was late would be penalized.

She was reviewing her notes when she suddenly heard him say, "Hey Clary."

However, her teacher prevented her from answering when he announced, "Okay, I'll be passing out the tests now. Please put all your study materials away."

The test wasn't as hard as she expected. In fact, Clary was confident that she passed it with flying colors. With about twenty minutes left, she asked for a pass to the chorus room. Approaching the door she expected there to be a class inside, instead, she found Jace alone at the piano.

"Another field trip day?" She asked, closing the door behind her.

"Nah, study hall day. How did your test go?" Jace's fingers were gliding over the keys, not playing a specific piece but still making it sound pretty.

"It was good, not as bad as I expected. But I'm glad it's over." _And that I'm out of that classroom_, she added mentally.

o.O.o

"What are you thinking about?" Jace asked, bumping his shoulder with Clary's.

She didn't want to lie to him…again. But she didn't want to reveal the whole truth. Looking him in the eye, she gave the most honest answer she could: "My mom, actually."

"Because you were at her grave yesterday."

"Yes…and no." The only reason she went to her mother's grave was because she knew her mother would have had an answer for her. "I was also thinking about the day of the accident." When she saw Jace freeze while copying a problem she added, "And that first kiss."

Jace relaxed and grinned, "Oh yeah? What about it?"

_I was comparing you to Sebastian. _"Why did you do it?"

Shocked, Jace answered softly, "Because I wanted to, and because I wanted your pain to go away. I wanted to _be the one _to take your pain away." He put his pencil down and moved closer to her. Cupping her face in his hands he continued, "I still want to Clary." He kissed her lightly, "I want to hold you up, and never let you fall."

Clary wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "I feel like I don't deserve you," she whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous," he replied. He stood up, and with her hand in his, he led her over to the couch. "You have me, Clare. No matter what."

They stayed on the couch for the rest of the afternoon wrapped up in each other, homework and the rest of the world forgotten.

o.O.o

"You have got to be kidding me, Clary."

Clary looked down at her Halloween costume. "What's wrong with it?" She was wearing a pair of old jeans that had white paint splattered on it and a V-neck short-sleeved shirt that had different colors of paint on it. "I'm a painter."

"That's the problem," Isabelle said. "You're supposed to be something different for Halloween."

"And what are _you _supposed to be?" Clary asked, eyeing the plaid mini skirt and matching sweater vest.

Izzy grinned, "I'm a Catholic school girl!" She declared, proudly.

"You are a school girl, Isabelle." Simon announced, coming into Clary's living room from the kitchen. He held a half-eaten sandwich in his hand. He was dressed in a standard store-bought vampire costume.

"Simon, we're eating at the party! And for your information, I'm not Catholic." Izzy winked at Simon and walked toward the front door, with more of a jaunt in her step than Clary remembered.

Magnus Bane always knew how to throw a party, Clary thought, as she took in the scene around her. There were people all over and music was pounding from and unknown source. She still hadn't found Jace, who came with some friends from his team.

Walking around Magnus's house, she realized how few people she actually knew. Sure, she recognized most of them from school, but she didn't know anything about them. She walked into the kitchen and saw what was probably a clean, organized spread of food on the breakfast bar and island. Now there was food everywhere; the kitchen was definitely the messiest room… so far.

Clary left the kitchen and spotted Simon and Izzy sitting on the stairs. Izzy's hand was resting on Simon's knee and was laughing at a joke he must have told. She smiled at the couple, happy that they finally stopped being so cautious around each other. But now, seeing them kiss made Clary miss her boyfriend who still hadn't appeared.

"They look happy," a voice said from behind her.

Startled, she whirled around. "Sebastian." Just in that one word she was able to hear how shaky her voice was, and she hoped he couldn't hear it.

He smiled, nervously. "Hey, Clary. I was wondering…can I…do you think…can we talk?"

Clary blinked then nodded. "Alright. Let's go over to the couch." She figured this conversation would happen eventually. All week she was able to avoid him, even in the class they had together. He would arrive late, and she would leave as soon as the bell rang, leaving no time to talk.

Once they were seated Sebastian blurted, "We need to talk about that kiss."

Clary raised her eyebrows, "You don't waste any time do you?"

"Well I figured you'd want to talk about it, so why waste time? Right?"

"I guess I know what you mean. But, look, I just want to forget the whole thing." Like the past week, she wasn't sure what to expect.

Clary was almost certain that he looked _disappointed._ "Sure." He gave her a sheepish smile. "We can be friends, right? I mean, we had a good thing going. Before I screwed it up, I mean. I missed talking to you this week"

She ignored his last comment and the little flip her stomach did in response to it. "Yeah, we're friends. Just as long as we can put this whole thing behind us."

"Good, I'm glad." Sebastian stood up. "And Clary, I know that you're with Wayland, but I'm not sorry I kissed you."

Clary grimaced, hearing it said out loud sounded wrong. But before she could reply an icy cold voice spoke behind her.

"You did _what_?"

Clary spun around on the couch; wide-eyed and speechless she saw Jace standing a couple of inches away from the couch, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"Jace…"

"I still haven't heard you say anything," he stepped forward and placed his index finger behind his ear, as if listening for something.

Sebastian stepped closer, too. "I. Kissed. Her." He said, his nervousness from a few minutes earlier was gone. Clary knew this wasn't good. Sebastian was within hitting range, and was goading Jace. "What are you going to do about it, Wayland?"

"I'm going to hit you, _Verlac_." Jace said through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure about - "

Jace cut him off with a punch to his face. As if amplified, the sound of Jace's fist connecting with Sebastian's face was louder than anything else Clary was able to hear.

Wanting to prevent a full-on fight Clary sprung up from the couch and faced Jace. "Stop. It was a misunderstanding, we're friends. That's all, I promise."

His eyes burned into hers. "What part of you-have-a-boyfriend did he not understand?"

"Look Wayland - "

"Shut up," Jace growled, his eyes never leaving Clary's. "You didn't tell me," his voice was different from when he first spoke. He didn't say it accusingly, he didn't even sound mad. He sounded hurt.

Clary wanted to cry, right there in front of everybody – who had come to see what all noise was about. "I'm sorry, Jace, so sorry. I knew you'd be mad, and I just wanted to forget the whole thing."

He closed his eyes and shook his head, "I can't do this right now." He turned on his heel and walked away. From the living room to the front door Clary could see people scurrying out of the way.

She flinched when she heard the slam shut behind Jace. It took her ten whole seconds before she darted through the crowd and out the door after him.

He was walking down the sidewalk, not too far away yet.

"Jace!" She called, running to catch up with him. Clary was glad that he hadn't run; she would never be able to catch him if he ran.

He didn't turn to look at her, he only said, "Go away, Clary."

"Look, Jace…" Jace turned to her then, and she stopped what she was saying. In his eyes she could see the rage that boiling under the surface.

"No, _you _look, Clary. I need to be alone right now. So please, leave me alone." And with that he turned away from her again and ran.

This time Clary didn't go after him. She just stared down the street, watching Jace run away from her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoo, finally finished this chapter! I'm so sorry for taking so long - writer's block sucks! About the songs: they aren't completely relevant (especially since Blind is a break up song and they haven't broken up) but they are great songs.**

**Please keep reviewing! I love knowing what you think and want to know if this story is worth continuing. ****Anyway, thank you for sticking with me, I hope this chapter sort of made up for the wait.**


	7. Chapter 7

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE****_

**Chapter Songs:**

**Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie**

**21 Guns – Green Day**

**Fall For You – Secondhand Serenade**

* * *

><p>November<p>

* * *

><p>The whistle blew. "Run that drill again," the coach called. "And Wayland, get the ball to Morgenstern faster this time."<p>

As the team got back into place Sebastian passed Jace, "Get your head out of your ass, Wayland."

"And your dick out of my sister." Jonathan sneered.

Normally, Jace would have thrown back some smart-ass comment, but the thought of Clary brought him up short. It had been nearly two weeks since Magnus's party and he still couldn't get Sebastian's words out of his head.

_I'm not sorry I kissed you._

With the scene fresh in his mind, Jace roughly passed the ball to Jonathan and began running the length of the court.

After practice, while he and Alec drove home, Jace checked his cell phone. No calls or text messages. Although he was not surprised, it still made his heart ache. He missed Clary, plain and simple. Sure they talked in school and sat next to each other at lunch and in their shared classes, but the atmosphere around them was tense. There was a wedge between them, and Jace felt that it would only grow if they didn't fix it soon.

Of course, he was not completely blameless. He was the one who said he needed space. But he didn't think Clary would take it quite so literally and be so distant.

"Still nothing?" Alec asked, pulling Jace out of his thoughts.

"Nope. I don't know what to do, man. Am I just supposed to let it pass?" In the two years they had been together they barely ever fought. Jace had certainly never run away from her like he had that night.

"I don't really know how to help; I don't have those types of problems."

Jace let out a chuckle, "Yeah, I guess you don't." They walked in the house and before they could even move out of the entryway Izzy's voice rang out.

"Jace Lightwood!"

"She sounds angry, man." Alec clapped Jace on the shoulder and walked down the hall to his room.

"What, Iz?"

She came storming into the living room. "Have you talked to Clary yet?" She demanded, hands on her hips.

"Of course I have, weren't you at lunch today?"

"No, I mean this whole 'I need time' bullshit. When are you going to get over that?"

"I do need time, Iz!" It was a half-truth. He needed time to figure out what to say to Clary. Would a simple apology work, or was she seriously mad at him?

"Well you need to hurry up. She was crying again, Jace," she added quietly.

Jace looked up from his staring contest with the floor in surprise. "What do you mean again?"

"I mean exactly how it sounds. She's cried a few times since your fight. She thinks you're going to break up with her."

"What? I would… That would never happen! How could she even think that?" He honestly didn't think things were _that_ bad. But apparently she did; of course she did – she always thought the worst.

"Fix it."

"I need to get out of here." But instead of walking out the front door like Izzy assumed he would, he walked to his bedroom, closed, and locked the door. He grabbed his guitar from its stand and sat on the edge of his bed. After strumming a few chords he began to play a familiar song. It didn't mean anything specific to him, but his fingers knew where to go and his lips knew what words to sing.

When he finished he flopped down on his bed with his guitar still in his lap. He needed to talk to Clary. Hell, he just needed Clary – period.

o.O.o

"Hello?" Her voice sounded hopeful even to her own ears

"_Hey Clary."_

"Oh," she tried not to sound too disappointed. "Hey Izzy."

"_Expecting Jace, huh?"_

"Yeah, sorry."

"_It's cool. Have you talked to him yet? You know, about fixing everything?"_

"No. I don't even know if Jace wants to fix everything. He hasn't even talked to me, I mean, not really."

"_Well, maybe you should try to talk to him."_

"He's the one who said he needed time though, Iz." Clary could feel the tears coming back, but she held them off.

"_I think he might be scared."_

"Of what!?"

Clary heard the big sigh Izzy let out. _"Clary, don't you think he is just as scared of losing you, as you are him?"_

"It just doesn't make sense!"

Izzy sighed again. _"Clary, you just have to talk to him. I mean he came home today, practically bit my head off, then stalked off to his room and played his guitar."_

"Maybe he just had a bad day."

"_He's been having a bad two weeks. And so have you. You need to talk." _ Before Clary had a chance to reply she hung up.

o.O.o

Clary stood at her locker the next day. It had been one of the longest days of her life. In fact, it had been a pretty long two weeks. She had zoned out for most of her classes. During her art class the only she drew was a pathetically lonely flower. The classes she shared with Jace had been awkward and uncomfortable and Clary wondered if anything would go back to normal.

The only good thing was that the rumors about Clary and Jace breaking up didn't seem to bother her as much. Maybe that was because she was starting to believe them.

"Hey," a voice near her said, making her jump back from her locker with a gasp.

"Oh, hi Sebastian." Clary gave him a half smile; it seemed to be all she was capable of at the moment.

"Zoning out?" Sebastian had stuck by Clary during this whole ordeal. Even after the awkward kiss and the party he was still friendly towards her. Each time Clary told him they were staying just friends he would always reply, "I don't mind".

"I guess. Just thinking…"

"'Bout Wayland?" When Clary only nodded, he added: "Have I told you I'm sorry yet today?" That was another thing. For the past week, he'd been apologizing every day.

"No, but that counts." Her half smile grew to a small one.

Sebastian opened his mouth to answer, but closed it immediately. A couple seconds later a strong arm wrapped itself around her waist.

"Hey," a warm, familiar voice said.

Clary turned her head to say hi back, but when she opened her mouth Jace planted his right on top. She closed her eyes instantly as Jace turned her and placed his hands on her waist, she was completely pressed against him. It didn't escalate more than a closed-mouth kiss, but it was the most sensual and passionate kiss she had in the past two weeks. It wasn't the shy peck on the lips Jace had usually given her. In that instant she knew that her Jace was back. He had taken all the time he needed and now was telling her that he wanted her back.

After a minute, Jace pulled away. Clary could tell that Sebastian had left; that was fine, she didn't want to deal with him at that moment.

Jace's hands moved from her waist and cupped her cheeks. He looked her right in the eye and said, "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said, smiling up at him.

Those were the only words that needed to be spoken. They stood there, for a few minutes, just staring into each other's eyes and smiling. All the unspoken words of the past two weeks passed in silence. Sure they might have looked like idiots, Clary thought, but it didn't bother either of them. They didn't need to sit down and rehash all the details; Clary knew Jace enough to know that those two little words meant everything.

"Come on," Jace said suddenly, taking her hand and leading her down the hall.

"Um, Jace? The doors are the other way." But she didn't turn, she followed Jace to the chorus room.

Once at the chorus room, Clary closed the door while Jace made his way to the piano. He opened it up and began. Clary smiled at the overplayed, cliché song he sang. It was perfect, though. She swayed to the sound of Jace's voice and basked in the emotion washing over her.

_So breathe in so deep_

_Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep_

_And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap_

_And remember me tonight when you're asleep_

_Because tonight will be the night_

_That I will fall for you over again_

_Don't make me change my mind_

_Or I won't live to see another day_

_I swear it's true_

_Because a girl like you is impossible to find_

_You're impossible to find_

When he was finished he stood up and hugged her; she hugged him back just as tightly. They stood in the room for a while, holding on to each other as if it wasn't physically possible to let go.

o.O.o

"Hey guys, guess what?" Izzy asked at lunch a couple of weeks later.

"You and Simon broke up?" Jace replied sarcastically – which earned him a punch in the arm from Izzy.

"No, asshole. Tyler Johnson's parents are leaving for vacation over Thanksgiving break. Which means he'll be throwing a huge party at the end of the week!"

"Who?" Clary questioned.

"Tyler Johnson. He's this guy that I sort of…well never mind. But I want to go, which means you're going too, Clary. No if, ands, or buts!"

Clary groaned, "Iz, I don't know if you noticed, but I haven't had the best track record with parties lately." She snuck a quick glance at Jace who was intently staring at his uneaten food. Since the day in the chorus room, they had hardly left each other's sides. They never really talked about the whole Sebastian incident directly, but Clary felt that they were stronger than ever so they didn't need to.

"We can all go," said Jace, "it'll be fine."

"Fun even," added Magnus, who seemed equally excited about another party. He smiled at his quiet boyfriend, which made Clary smile also. She always thought Alec and Magnus were cute together and she was glad to see Alec happy after all the shit his parents gave him last year. To say that Robert and Mayrse Lightwood were unhappy when they found out Alec was seeing the most flamboyant student at school would be an understatement.

Clary felt a pinch at her side. To her left she saw Jace piling their trash onto his tray. "What are you thinking about?" He asked.

Gesturing to Magnus and Alec whispering to each other she answered, "They look so happy."

Jace frowned, "Are you not happy?"

She shook her head. "Of course I'm happy. I'm also happy that they are happy."

Looking across the table he said, "I'm pretty sure Magnus is just telling Alec all the dirty things he plans on doing to him tonight."

Clary lightly slapped him across the back of his head. "Way to ruin the moment, Jace!" She stood up and started to walk away when Jace caught her. He threw away their trash and pulled her to his side.

"I could whisper all the dirty things I want to do to you in your ear instead, if you'd like."

She felt the heat rush to her cheeks. "As intriguing as that sounds, we need to go to class."

"But the bell hasn't even - " Jace was cut off by the a shrill ringing. "Well, they really know how to time those things."

o.O.o

There was an incessant pounding on Clary's front door. She answered, sleepily, still dressed in her sleepwear.

"Jace?" Surprise was clear in her voice.

"Happy Thanksgiving, beautiful!" Jace stood on her porch and presented her with a bouquet of flowers. "These are for you. Oh and this too," he held up a can in his other hand.

"Thank you! And Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!" She took the flowers. "But, what is that?"

"It's cranberry sauce. Mom always has cranberry sauce with dinner." He looked questionably at the can. "I've never tried it though, to be honest."

"Well I don't want to try it," Clary turned, leaving the door open for Jace to walk through. "Cranberry sauce freaks me out."

"Don't you have your own family, Wayland?"

Clary rolled her eyes, "Be nice. Jace is eating with us tonight."

"Nice to see you too, Jon."

It was around noon and Clary was dressed and donned in an apron. She had all the traditional foods almost prepared. The turkey was in the oven, along with the green bean casserole, there were potatoes cooking on the stove, and the stuffing was ready to go. After setting the table, she grabbed a dish for Jace's canned cranberry sauce.

"What's that?" Jon asked. He took the canister of whipped cream from the refrigerator and squirted some into his mouth.

"Jon! That's for the pie!"

"There's pie?" and "What kind of pie?" came from both boys at the same time.

Clary smiled to herself. Boys will be boys. "Apple and pumpkin. And Jace brought cranberry sauce."

Jon wrinkled his nose. "That stuff is nasty. Except Jocelyn's; hers was always pretty good."

"That's because she always made it, it was never canned. And she always made two kinds of pies for every holiday." Although it made Clary sad to talk about her mother, she smiled. Her mom always did her best to make holidays 'warm and fuzzy'. It was also the reason Jon was in a decent mood. He loved holidays. Clary never understood it. He was cold and resentful during the regular year, but when a holiday came around he was _nice._

She was stirring the potatoes when warm arms wrapped around her. "If you close your eyes, and ignore the giggly consistency, then I'm sure you might like the cranberry sauce."

"Hmm…" Clary pretended to think. "Nah, I don't think it works like that." She gave him a peck on the cheek and moved to check the food in the oven.

"Dude," she heard. "Stop checking out her ass."

"I'm her boyfriend and it's nice, therefore I can check it out when I want."

Clary smiled, they were at least joking this time. They've had some pretty serious conversations before; it was nice to have them being civil with each other. Even if it was at her expense.

She took the turkey out of the oven and when she turned to face the boys Jace said, "You're blushing, Clare." He had his signature smirk on his face.

"My face was just in an oven, it was hot." She countered. Jace nodded his agreement.

Clary took the casserole out of the oven and between the three of them they had the food on the table. They ate mostly in silence, with a few playful comments here and there. Clary was happy, truly happy at that moment.

"Dad called yesterday," Jon broke the silence that had currently encompassed them.

"What did he want?" She didn't want to sound too cold, especially since Jon was being nice today.

"He apologized for not sending money this month, but will send some for Christmas. I guess we know what to expect as a Christmas present then."

Clary only nodded, she had nothing to say.

"Tell me about your dad," Jace said later that night in her room.

Clary curled up on her bed beside Jace. "There's not much to tell."

"All I know is that he is some kind of lawyer and he sends you money every month and holiday."

"That's pretty much it, Jace. Mom left about a year after Jon was born, while she was pregnant with me. I guess she didn't want to deal with the stress of my dad. But Jon always accused her of leaving because of him."

"Was it because of him?" Jace's curiosity was evident in his voice.

"I don't think so, but you never know. It could have been a combination of the shit my dad put her through, taking care of Jon by herself, and carrying me." A realization dawned on Clary. "In a way, it was all our faults."

Jace hugged her closer. "It wasn't anybody's fault. Except your dad's maybe. From what I can tell, you and Jon don't like him very much. There must be a reason."

She shrugged. "I never met him."

"Really?"

"Mhmm. When Mom died, Jon was still under eighteen. So Valentine – Dad – took custody of us, but never actually came here to see us. He only sent money. I guess he feels like he still needs to, even though he's also taking care of all the bills."

Clary didn't really want to talk about her father anymore, and she guessed Jace could tell since he kissed her goodnight and held her as close to him as he could.

"I love you, Clary." He whispered.

"I love you, Jace." She whispered back, before letting sleep claim her.

o.O.o

It was Friday night. The night of the party that he told Izzy they would all go to. The party that Magnus said would be fun. He had been enjoying himself with Clary until Verlac appeared.

Jace watched them dance from the bar in the basement. They looked awkward together, her small body and his slightly lanky form. Clary told him that it was just a dance, but he couldn't help the jealousy that coursed through him. He hated watching another guy dance with her. It was irrational, he knew that Clary was completely faithful and solely his. Just like he was hers.

"Wow, look at them. They're actually pretty cute together." Aline. Jace looked to his left and saw the dark-haired girl sitting right next to him. She was tracing a finger around the rim of his glass.

"Aline," Jace nodded at her and turned his attention back to the dance floor. He hadn't seen her in a while; he wasn't complaining about it though.

"Think about it, though. You guys aren't on the same level." This time Jace turned to look at her.

"What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying that I'm not good enough for her?"

Shaking her head, Aline clarified. "Just the opposite actually. Face it, after you graduate and go to college what is she going to do? She's going to be stuck here."

Jace didn't want to think about this, he took a huge gulp of his drink. "We already sorted everything out. While she's still here, I'll be going to a local college. Then when she graduates we'll both go to a college we want. It'll work." At this point he didn't know if he was trying to assure Aline or reassure himself. Was he too good for her?

Of course not. If anything, she was too good for him.

"But isn't your dream to go to Brown University?"

Jace narrowed his eyes, "How did you know that?"

"Word gets around," Aline smiled at him, but in the dim lighting it looked unnatural – like she knew something that he didn't. "Being popular pretty much means that everyone knows all your secrets."

Jace could think of a few secrets no one knew. "Not all of them."

Aline fell silent for a moment and Jace finished his drink in one swallow.

"Anyway," the silence seemed to be over, "if Clary doesn't get into Brown, which is a possibility, then you'll be sacrificing your dream."

"I'll be with Clary. That's all that matters." He didn't even think about Clary not being accepted to Brown. She was smart, so smart, she had to get in. But what if she didn't?

He really wanted Aline to stop talking to him now. His head felt like it was spinning. No, the room was spinning, that's what it was. And on top of everything he lost track of Clary and Sebastian.

"Come on, Jace. You're smart. Think about it: she'll be pulling you down or you'll be pulling her somewhere she doesn't belong."

Jace slammed his fist down on the bar, hoping the pain would make his head stop throbbing. But it only made his fist begin to throb. "Stop talking. I need…to find…Clary." He stood up from his stool and almost fell back down.

"Whoa, Jace. Are you okay? How much have you had to drink?"

How many did he have to drink? He thought only one, but one drink didn't make him feel this way. Blinking a few times and looking around the large room, Jace realized that all the faces around him were blurry and he hardly recognized anyone. The only remotely recognizable face was Aline's.

"What's happening to me?" Even to his own ears his voice sounded slurred.

"I don't know. But let's lay you down somewhere, okay?" After nodding, Aline helped Jace stumble away from the bar and up the stairs to an empty bedroom.

Jace crashed face down onto the welcoming bed. He was vaguely aware of Aline closing and locking the door behind her. But he couldn't bring himself to care. Sleep was just within his grasp and he welcomed the darkness as it surrounded him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So yeah, this kind of sucks... I started a writing class (on top of all my other classes) so I have to start moving this story along. I'll keep it going until I finish it, but everything will be moving a bit quicker. I hope you like the songs this chapter - I love all three of them :)**

**Thank you to every read and reviewer! You always make my day :) Until next month ~ keep on reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING RELATED TO THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE****  
><em>

_**Chapter Songs: Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum **_

_** The Scientist - Coldplay**_

* * *

><p><em><em>**Two Years Ago**

* * *

><p><em>Clary lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling while wondering what Jace was doing. They had been together for about a month. And it was a whirlwind of a month. While trying to plan her mother's funeral Luke, her mother's childhood friend, came in from the neighboring county side to help since Jonathan wasn't. Luke was a bigger help than her father; he sent her a large chunk of money with a note attached that said: For funeral costs. Although she had only met Luke a few times, they had emerged from the whole ordeal much closer and he made Clary promise that if she ever needed anything she would come to him.<em>

_But Jace… _Jace_, Clary smile just at the mere thought of him. After their kiss in the hospital she avoided him for days – too embarrassed by her emotional outburst around someone she hardly knew. But he saw her misery and pain beneath the strong façade she put up and approached her. He told her that he wanted to be with her, to make sure she was okay, but she didn't believe him. How could she? Jace Wayland – _the _Jace Wayland, number one player and heartbreaker of her high school – wanted to make sure she was okay. She didn't buy it; guys like him don't like girls like Clary. At least that's what she told herself. But every time she let him down, nicely, she felt herself fall for him just a little bit more._

_At the funeral Clary was an emotional wreck. So when she saw Jace in the line she let floodgates open and fell into his arms – literally. It was that moment that proved to her that he really did care, and she was so happy that when she went to hug him she tripped and fell onto him. He chuckled and caught her, of course, and from that moment on they were basically inseparable. It was an awkward sort of friendship; both knowing the other wanted something more. But Jace said he would wait until Clary was ready; he wanted to be there as a friend to help her through her depression following her mother's funeral. It the longest month of her life; each day felt like a year. But Jace was there, by her side, a shoulder to cry. She didn't have to pretend to be okay around him. _

_Finally, one day in June, while they were exploring a nearby park Jace made her laugh – really laugh. And he kissed her. It was so sudden that she didn't even kiss him back; she was frozen – surprised. It was when he pulled back a few seconds later, disappointment and embarrassment written all over his face, that Clary was able to comprehend what had happened and pulled his face back to hers._

_A buzzing pulled Clary out of her memories. With a smile still on her face she picked up her cell phone and read a text from Jace: Open your window for me._

_Clary got out of her bed, curiosity running through her veins, and walked across her room to her window. Before opening it she tried to see outside in the dark. She couldn't make out any shapes until she saw a tiny rectangle of light waving back and forth. She opened her window and before she could say anything Jace's head popped in and pecked her on the lips. He climbed through the window and took Clary in his arms. Her arms went around his neck and she could feel the tension in his body._

"_What's wrong?" She asked as rubbed his back soothingly. Being much taller than herself, Clary had to stand on her tiptoes in order to reach more than just Jace's upper shoulders._

"_Can I stay with you tonight?" His voice was barely above a whisper._

_Clary hesitated. She knew about Jace's past, and knew that they were moving much too slow for him. But something told her that he didn't come here – to her – for _that _tonight._

_He must have read her mind because he said, "I just want to sleep. And hold you. Please, I just want to be with you." _

_How could she say no? She never heard him sound so…desperate before. This Jace was so different from the normal, arrogant, joking Jace she had grown accustomed to. _

"_Go lay down," she told him gently. As he did, she went over to the window and closed the blinds to prevent the sun from waking them up in the morning. She went and lay down on her full size bed next to Jace. He put his arm around her and she snuggled up against his side. Her head was resting on his chest and she was able to feel the steady rise and fall as he breathed. As they lay there in a comfortable silence, Clary realized this was the first time they had been this close – this intimate – as a couple._

"_Jace," she whispered, suddenly nervous._

_He was running his hand up and down her back, his chin resting on the top of her head. "Hmm?"_

"_If you wanted… if you came here for…" she paused, figuring out what to say. "I don't think I'm ready for…you know."_

"_Clary, look at me." She did. "I did not come here for sex. I know you're not ready, and I'm willing to wait."_

_Clary smiled at him; he was being so nice to her. In fact, since that day in the hospital he's been nothing but nice. Why should he have to wait?_

_Slowly, she sat up on her knees and faced him. Their eyes met and Clary held contact for a few seconds before moving closer to Jace. She moved slowly, giving him a chance to back away, but when he didn't move she placed her lips on his. Their mouths moved together and opened up for exploration. Jace moved his hands down to her hips and pulled her closer until she way lying on top of him._

_She felt as if there was an electric current pulsing through her veins. It felt so good; she didn't want to stop. Suddenly, she wondered why she was nervous. They had never gone past making out, but Clary thought if kissing Jace felt this good then the next step would only feel better. Quickly making a decision, she pulled away._

"_Jace, you don't have to wait. We could do this, I could be ready."_

_Jace looked at her, eyes darkened with desire. But he shook his head and whispered, "No."_

_Clary blinked, "Oh," was all she was able to say. " Okay, then." _

_She rolled off Jace and lay next to him on her back, not touching him. A number of emotions flared up in her: disappointment, anger, confusion, relief. Even though she would have done anything Jace wanted, she also knew that she wasn't ready. She felt a gentle caress on her cheek and looked over at Jace. He was on his side with his head propped up on his elbow. His other hand was on Clary's face, his thumb running across her cheek bone._

"_Don't get me wrong, Clare," he said. "I want to be with you, but not until you're ready. It should be special – especially for your first time. But tonight…tonight's just not a good night for me." He sighed and looked away. _

_Instantly Clary remembered how tense he was when he first showed up, and she realized she still didn't know why._

"_Hey," she lifted his chin up. "What's wrong? You can tell me."_

_Jace nodded, "It's just… If I say it, then it will be real."_

"_Tell me, whatever it is I'll be here for you."_

"_I know." He took a deep breath. "My dad got put in jail."_

_Clary was confused, "Robert?"_

"_No," he shook his head. "My real – biological – father, Michael Wayland."_

"_Oh," Clary had never heard of Jace's biological father. She knew, of course, that he had one, but he never mentioned him before. "What did he do?"_

"_Who knows, the man has been on the run since I was 10." Jace said bitterly. _

"_Do you want to talk about him?" She asked carefully. Jace seemed to be bouncing between emotions and Clary didn't want to upset him even more._

"_Yes. And no. I don't know. I probably should though, huh?"_

"_Have you ever talked about him?"_

"_No, not even with Alec." He sat up and moved to lean against the headboard. "I don't even know if I can. I haven't thought about him in years."_

_Clary propped herself up in the same position, sitting slightly on her side so she could still look at Jace. "Well, why don't you try? Tell me about him. You've been with the Lightwoods since you were 10, right? What happened before them?"_

"_If I tell you, you have to promise me one thing."_

"_Anything."_

_Jace looked at her right in the eyes, "You can't pity me, Clary. I don't want pity. I'm going to tell you because you want to know. And I… I think I want someone else to know."_

"_Okay," she took a deep breath, preparing for whatever he was going to say. "No pitying, got it."_

_A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Okay, so…" He took a deep breath. "The beginning, I guess, would be my birth. The day I was born, my mother died. I think she lost too much blood, I never found out what exactly happened and I don't want to. But my father kept me. I wish he had given me away from the start."_

_He paused a Clary asked, "Why would you want that?"_

"_Because my life was hell," he wasn't looking at her. "I don't remember a single happy childhood memory."_

"_What did he do to you?" She whispered._

"_He hated me, Clary. He didn't give a damn about me. I think that, maybe, he blamed me for her death."_

_With a gasp her hand shot to her mouth. "He abused you," she whispered, realization setting in._

_Jace hesitated, but then nodded. "I remember this one time, he came home drunk and beat me for hours. When I thought he wasn't looking I started to make my way up the stairs so I could get to my room. But he caught me when I got two from the top and pushed me back down. I didn't move from the bottom of the stairs for three days." He looked at Clary and saw her half horrified-half sympathetic expression. "Now what did I say about pity, Clary? I don't want it."_

"_Right," she tried to wipe her face of emotions but knew it probably didn't work. She just felt so bad for him; he was just a kid. "Do you know why he was thrown in jail?"_

_Jace shook his head, "The detective who called didn't tell, and I didn't ask. But he said that my dad will probably be in there for a while, so whatever he did it must have been bad. God," he ran his hands down his face. "I wish I could hate him, so much."_

"_It's okay, Jace. You're allowed to hate him. What he did to you was horrible." Clary pulled him to her, he rested his head on her shoulder while she held him. _

"_I can't hate him," Jace whispered._

"_Why?"_

"_Even though what he did was terrible, he taught me something. He taught me how not to feel. He didn't care about me, and now I learned not to expect that from anybody."_

_Clary was silent for a moment, digesting everything he had said. After about a minute, Jace said flatly, "Say something, Clary." _

"_I... What about the Lightwoods? You've been part of their family for six years. What about Alec? He is your best friend. How could you say they don't care about you?" She asked, appalled. Then she added quietly, "How could you think that _I _don't care about you?"_

_Jace sat up so he was face to face with Clary. "It's just who I am, Clary. It took me almost two years before I opened up to them, before I let Alec be my friend. But you," he caressed her cheek, "you are entirely different. I _want _to open up to you, to give myself to you. And even though my mind is screaming at me, I know that it's right."_

_Clary felt tears fill up in her eyes. She wanted to cry over the broken boy in front of her, over everything he had been through, but above all she wanted to cry because he was giving her a chance._

"_Why are you crying?" He wiped a stray tear from her face. _

_She gave him a small smile. "I don't want to mess this up."_

_Jace stared at her for a moment then pulled her into a hug. "You won't, I promise. If anything gets screwed up it will be because of me. But Clare," he pulled away so he could look in her eyes, "I know this – us – will work. But I want to do it right."_

_Clary sniffled and gave him a full smile, "Okay."_

_He smiled back, "Good. So that…thing we were discussing before? I want to wait until the time is right, okay?" When Clary nodded he opened his arms and said, "Good. Now come here."_

_Clary once again snuggled up in Jace's arms and drifted off into the best sleep she had in months._

* * *

><p><strong>Present Day<strong>

* * *

><p>o.O.o<p>

Simon was sitting up on the Lightwoods' couch. His neck was bent awkwardly on Clary's head and his arm was crushed between her body and the back of the couch. For the past hour or so he fell in and out of sleep. When he heard the door open his eyes popped open, wide awake. From the light on the side table he was able to see Jace sneak into the kitchen. Gently moving Clary off his arm and into a laying position, Simon followed Jace. In the kitchen, his back was to Simon, getting water from the sink. When he turned around Simon saw exhaustion and…something else, some guarded emotion. He would have thought it was fear, but in the few years he's known Jace, Simon never knew him to be afraid of anything.

Jace just stared at him for a moment. Simon knew that anger was written all over him; he was never able to hide his emotions like Jace.

"How is she?" Jace asked quietly.

Simon didn't look at him. He wanted to lash out, hit him, make him feel all kinds of physical pain. But at the same time he wanted Jace to feel the emotional pain Clary felt tonight.

"She's sad. And confused; she thinks she did something wrong."

"She didn't do anything."

"I know she didn't! She was with me and Iz the whole night." He said angrily.

"She was with Verlac, too." Simon could tell that he was holding back; they both were. If they could, they'd both be shouting over each other.

"For five minutes. After she saw you drinking with Aline she left to find us." Simon moved to lean against the counter, standing directly across from Jace, who was leaning on his elbows against the island in the middle of the kitchen.

Jace put his head in his hands, "I wasn't drinking with her."

"Then what was it, Jace? What did you do?"

"I don't know!" He hissed. "I remember Aline trying to talk to me at the bar and the next thing I know I'm naked in bed next to her." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then looked up, "Look Simon, I'm sorry. You have no idea. I never wanted to hurt her, I _don't _want to hurt her."

"Pretty inevitable now," Simon snorted.

"I know. God, I didn't think I had that much to drink."

"You're going to tell her, right?"

Jace shook his head. "I don't know. I wouldn't even know how. It'll destroy her."

"You have tell her, Jace. She's going to find out, one way or another. It should come from you." Simon couldn't believe Jace was considering not telling her. "Tell her."

"Tell me what?"

o.O.o

Clary could hear her heart pound in her chest. She, Simon, and Isabelle got home a few hours ago…without Jace. Earlier at the party, while awkwardly dancing with Sebastian, she had seen Jace and Aline talking at the bar. After excusing herself from Sebastian, she went to find Isabelle and Simon. But when she pointed to where she saw them they were no longer there.

She wandered aimlessly for about an hour until Isabelle found and told her that some guy saw Jace and Aline go upstairs. Not wanting to stick around, or look for Jace anymore, Clary left. She let herself be led back to the Lightwoods, where she collapsed into Simon and cried until she fell asleep.

And now Jace was back, looking like he had just seen a ghost.

"Tell me what?" She repeated, deliberately ignoring Jace, looking at Simon.

"I didn't know you were awake," Jace said quietly.

"I saw the light on; I didn't hear much." She still didn't look at Jace, instead her gaze was on the floor.

Simon cleared his throat, "I'm going to go see if Iz is still up," and with that he existed the kitchen.

"Clary, look at me. Please," he pleaded.

Clary did look at him and felt her heart break at the shame and guilt evident in his eyes. Jace took a step toward her, but she put up her hand to stop him.

"I need to hear it, Jace. So just say it." Since the party she had a sinking feeling about what happened. And now looking at Jace, she knew.

"I slept with Aline," he blurted out.

It was like the wind was just knocked out of her. She felt tears flood her eyes; she could barely make out Jace's moving lips. But she couldn't hear him over the pounding in her ears. She was only able to make out pieces of his frantic speech.

"…at the bar…then Aline was there…didn't know I had that much to drink."

A sob escaped her throat as the tears broke free and fell down her face. She used the wall for support as she slid down and crumpled to the floor. Jace was in front of her in three steps. Clary let him pull her into him as he tried to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, Clare. I'm so sorry," he said over and over. His hands were running through her hair and he placed a kiss on her forehead.

The contact seemed to pull Clary back to reality. She recoiled from his touch as if she had been stung. She looked at the boy in front her – he looked devastated. _He did this,_ she thought, _he shouldn't look like that. He didn't have the right. _

"I should go." Clary stood up and wiped her eyes.

"No, please don't," Jace was still on the floor, looking imploringly up at her. "Stay. Talk to me."

"I can't," she paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "I just need to leave." Without hesitating she left Jace alone on the kitchen floor.

o.O.o

The rumors were terrible. If Clary though the weekend would buffer the students' interest, she was wrong. All morning she got looks of pity; she couldn't stand it. As she walked down the halls some people stopped talking abruptly when they saw her; others weren't so nice. "They're probably breaking up" and "He's been cheating since Aline showed up" were the two big rumors going around. Clary didn't acknowledge either one.

While walking to her painting class, Clary was approached by Nicole Shelley, one of Aline's friends.

"Hi, Clary."

"Hi, Nicole," Clary kept walking with her gaze straight ahead of her. "What do you want?"

"I just want to talk to you," Nicole's voice was high pitched and whiney. Clary couldn't stand it.

"I'm not really in the mood." She picked up her pace.

Nicole rushed ahead and stood in front of Clary, causing her to come to a stop. "I just want to know if what I've heard is true."

Although she sounded nice and innocent, Clary knew Nicole was probably the one who started the rumors. She didn't know exactly what people were saying, and she didn't know if she wanted to know. It was bad enough that they were talking about her at all.

"It's probably not true," She said and walked around Nicole.

"So your boyfriend didn't have sex with Aline, then?" Nicole called after her.

By now, the hall was mostly empty. Only a few students walked by, heads bent trying to keep out of the drama. Clary wished she wasn't part of it, but it seemed she didn't have a choice.

Clary stopped and turned to face Nicole. "Look, Jace made a mistake," she took a deep breath and spoke firmly, "but if you think that he's going to break up with me for her then you're wrong. Go spread that."

She turned on her heal and left Nicole speechless in the hall. Once she reached her painting class she slipped into the room a few minutes late. Her teacher didn't mind as long as she finished her projects on time. She thought about what she said to Nicole. Only, she hoped that she sounded more confident than she felt. If she was honest, she wasn't sure what was going to happen. She hadn't talked to Jace and she didn't want to. If he had something to say, if he wanted to fix this, he would come to her.

The rest of the morning passed and by lunchtime Clary began to block out the rumors and ignore the stares. She sat with her usual group, Simon, Izzy, Alec, Magnus, and Jace. But the tension was so thick, it was almost tangible. Izzy was chatting, as usual, not caring that Simon was the only one who showed interest in what she was saying. Alec and Magnus conversed quietly amongst themselves, lost in their own world. Jace, on the other hand, wasn't talking at all. Clary watched as he picked at his food and moved it around on his tray. They were sitting next to each other, but it felt like they were miles away.

She was mad, so angry – he had cheated. There was no "just getting over it"; she _couldn't _get over it. But she had to move on, if she didn't she knew that the situation would break her before she even had a chance to begin fighting.

But at the same time she was nervous, worried about what Jace was going to do. Even though he was the one who screwed up, Clary knew he still held the power. She didn't want to let him go, but what if she didn't have a choice? He had been with another girl. Maybe he was bored with her; clearly she wasn't enough. Clary looked at him; he seemed so miserable. He still hadn't eaten any of his food, there were dark bags under his eyes, and his face was set in a scowl. Could it be that he was miserable with her? If that was the case then she would let him go, she wouldn't be the reason for his unhappiness. But she had to find out what was going on in his head first.

She opened her mouth, but then closed it. That brief time when they were separated because of _Clary's_ mistake flashed in her mind. They were separated for two – maybe three – weeks, and it was hell. She couldn't imagine actually being without him.

"Why are you staring at me?" Jace asked curiously.

Clary didn't think he was aware of anything around him. "I wanted to…um… Can we talk?"

Jace looked at Clary for the first time and said, "Right now? Do you really want to get into this in school?"

This surprised her; she thought he'd be willing to talk. Especially since he practically begged her the night she found out. "I guess not, but I do want to talk soon. I have so many questions, Jace." She didn't realize she was whispering until she noticed that Jace had leaned toward her.

He nodded and went back to staring at his food. Feeling shut out, Clary gathered her things, stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. As she switched out her books at her locker she felt a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her.

"Hey," Sebastian said. His hand was still on her shoulder and he ran his thumb back and forth. "You doing okay? I've heard the things people have been saying."

Clary shook her head, "I just have to get through this day. It will get easier, right? It has to. I mean today everybody is interested, but they will get bored eventually. They'll get bored and it will all blow over. Then Jace will go back to normal and…" Realizing she was rambling, Clary stopped. "Sorry. You didn't need to hear all that."

"Hey," he lifted her chin with his index finger, "I will listen to anything you want to say. I care about you, Clary. You know that."

She did know that, he had told her, while dancing with her at the party, that he liked and cared for her as more than a friend. But she didn't respond because she saw Jace with Aline and left him to find Izzy and Simon.

Looking at him now she felt queasy. All she wanted was Jace, normal Jace. "Sebastian, I'm sorry, but… I need to go to the bathroom. Thank you for listening to me." She flashed him a small smile and left.

Once in the bathroom she paced back and forth for a moment, then splashed some water on her face. As she was drying off she heard a giggle from just outside the door. Before anybody saw her, Clary slipped into the nearest stall.

"I told you. I get what I want," It was Aline. "He didn't stand a chance."

Clary wanted to vomit; she didn't want to hear this. But she couldn't let them know she was there, she wasn't ready to face Aline so soon.

"And he didn't disappoint, did he?" Clary recognized the voice as Kaelie Summers, one of Jace's ex-girlfriends.

"Not even a little," Clary heard Aline say.

"What about Clary, though? They've been attached at the hip since last year." Kaelie said.

"I warned her; I told her guys like Jace don't stay in one place." The door opened and the last thing Clary heard was, "I'm not worried about her."

Once the door was closed Clary let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. She leaned against the stall door as she hyperventilated then, as the tears began to fall, Clary leaned over and threw up the contents of her stomach.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! I am so so sorry for the late update... I hope this makes up for it :)**

**Just to give you all a heads up, I will probably not update for the month of November since I will be tackling NaNoWriMo. **

**Thank you to all my readers and reviewers - you're the best! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

_****ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED BELONG TO CASSANDRA CLARE****_

**Songs: I'll Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

><p>The bell rang, releasing Jace from his History class. It was his last class of the day, and also the last class he was supposed to have with Clary…whom he hadn't seen since lunch. Instead of walking directly to the chorus room, he walked in the direction of Clary's geography class in hopes of catching her. When he reached the classroom, Jace peaked inside to see if she was already there, but there were only about five students seated and she wasn't one of them. He hung around for a minute but when he didn't see her approach he decided to try and catch her after school.<p>

On his way to the chorus room he saw Aline walking in his direction. Jace wanted nothing more than to turn around and avoid her. But he knew he needed to talk to her about what happened at that party; he heard the rumors going around.

"Hi, Jace," she cooed.

He nodded. "Aline. Have you seen Clary?"

"Planning on breaking up with her?"

Jace studied her face for a moment before replying slowly, "Now why would I do that?"

"Because we slept together," Aline fake whispered, as if the whole school didn't already know.

"That doesn't mean anything to me." He narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to her. "I know you slipped something into my drink."

She smirked, "Prove it."

"Let me get one thing straight," Jace said coldly. "There may not be any 'evidence' but I _know _I was not drunk enough to stumble into bed with you – in fact, I could never be drunk enough to willing sleep with you. I am not breaking up with Clary, especially not for you. Now. Have. You. Seen. Her?"

After a silent moment Aline huffed, "I saw her run towards the front door after lunch. She probably couldn't take the rumors and ran home."

Without responding, Jace turned on his heel and started toward the front doors of the school. He walked right passed the chorus room and out of the school. Standing on the steps, he scanned his immediate surrounds. He looked left, right, then left again and didn't see anybody. He wasn't surprised; if she had left after lunch she would be home already. Jace fished his keys out of his pocket and walked to the parking lot on the side of the building. He needed to find Clary and explain to her what happened, that it wasn't his fault that Aline had slipped something into his drink. He didn't want to talk about it at lunch because there were already enough rumors going around. She would understand that, right? The image of her hurt and confused face when he indicated that he wasn't going to talk in school crossed his mind. No, she wouldn't understand because she's already so overwhelmed – with her own conclusions as well as the rumors that have spread like wildfire.

He walked faster to the lot, but froze when he got there. He saw her sitting on top of one of the picnic tables with her head on her arms which were crossed over her knees. That alone would only make him worry for her, but it was Verlac –_Verlac _– standing in front of her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, that made his blood boil. He approached them, slowly, in hopes of catching some their conversation.

"Clary, please look at me." Jace heard the other boy say.

"No. I don't want to talk, Sebastian. Just leave me alone. Please," she pleaded.

"You have to tell me, Clary. Please, just tell me – "

"She doesn't have to tell you anything," Jace cut in. He saw Clary's head whip up at the sound of his voice, but didn't look at her yet. He was still staring at Verlac.

"Jace," she whispered.

But he before he turned his gaze in her direction he said, "Go away," coldly to Verlac.

"Clary?" the other boy asked, turning his head to look at her for confirmation.

"It's okay" she said quietly. Jace's eyes were still on Verlac, but he could feel her looking at him.

Verlac waited for a moment, then said, "Fine. If you need me, Clary, just call." When Clary didn't respond he turned and left the parking lot.

Jace relaxed, but only a little. He sat next to Clary on the picnic bench and began nervously bouncing his leg up and down. There was so much he wanted, needed, to say but didn't know where to start. Should he start with an explanation, or an apology? He just wanted things to go back to normal; he wanted to go back to when he and Clary were a single unit and no one even hoped of breaking them apart.

"Jace," Clary placed her hand on his knee, stilling his movements. "Just spit it out."

He looked at her; she had been crying – that much was clear. He could tell that everything anyone had said throughout the day had gotten to her, and that she now expected the worst from him. Jace cupped her face in his hands and looked directly into her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Clare. So, so sorry for everything." His hands gently brushed the hair that was in her face out of the way and his lips met hers. It was a soft, barely-there, kiss. It wasn't hot or heavy, but it was exactly what he needed. He felt her smooth lips kiss him back briefly before pulling away.

"How did you know I was out here?" She asked, looking at him.

"Someone saw you run out; I was going to drive to your place to check on you."

"Who saw me?"

Jace hesitated. "Aline."

Clary nodded.

"Why are you still here?" Jace asked when Clary didn't add anything.

"Simon's my ride home," then she added quietly, "I should have just walked home."

He didn't want to know what she meant by that, so he said instead, "Let me take you home."

"Why?" Clary asked sharply. "You want to talk now?" She sounded angry, and although Jace knew why, he wished she wasn't.

"Yes, I do. Look, Clary, I didn't want to talk in there," he gestured toward the school. "There's already so much talk going around as it is."

"I know, Jace. I've heard it all." She sighs, letting go of some of the anger, but not the hurt. "You don't want to talk to your girlfriend in school because you're worried about what people will say, but you'll talk to the girl you slept with two nights ago? How _won't _people talk about that, Jace?"

Jace shook his head, "I didn't seek her out intentionally. She was the first person I ran into when I was looking for you and I asked if she saw you. She said that she saw you run out after lunch, so I came out here to drive to your house but then I found you and here we are." He took a deep breath, surprised that he got all that out in one breath. He grabbed one of her hands and held it in both of his. "Please, Clary, I don't want to fight. I just want to work this out so we can go back to normal. I miss you; I miss _us_."

Clary looked away from Jace and across the parking lot, "Why did you do it?"

This was it – the talk. And she wasn't going to wait until they got to her house; they were going to this now.

Jace sighed, "I don't know what I was thinking then. But now, I think she might have slipped something in my drink."

"You think you were drugged?" She asked in surprised.

"Yes, but I don't have any proof. There's nothing I can do, which is why I just want to get back to normal."

"It's not that easy, Jace. How am I just supposed to ignore what people are saying all around me?"

"You've been able to do it before."

Clary threw her hands up in the air, "You didn't do what they said you did before. This time you did. It's not the rumors that are getting to me. It's the facts that stab and cut into me each time someone states them."

Jace looked at her for a long time before moving off the picnic table to stand directly in front of her. He took both her hands and looked her directly in the eye. "Tell me you love me."

"Wh-What are you – "

"Tell me you love me, Clary." He pleaded; because he knew that if she gave up on them – on _him_ – now he would never forgive himself for making her leave. He needed her, so desperately needed her, and if she left him, the pain would last a lifetime.

"I love you, Jace." He saw confusion and hurt in her eyes, but heard the certainty in her voice.

He kissed, fiercely, for a few brief seconds. Then he stepped back so he could see her face fully. "We'll get through this. Together."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I love you, and I'm not letting you go easily. It'll get better, I promise." Jace sighed, "But it's going to take time. We have to stick together."

Clary's eyes filled with tears. "I don't want to lose you, Jace."

He took her in his arms and pulled her close. "You won't, Clare. I swear to you; I'm not going anywhere."

o.O.o

* * *

><p>December<p>

* * *

><p>It had been two weeks. Two weeks since that stupid party. And as much as Clary wished differently, nothing had gotten better. People still whispered and talked about her. Aline's looks taunted her every time she saw her in the halls. And although Jace stuck by her side, it wasn't the same. He didn't openly show affection while in school and was only slightly more so when they were alone. He was being distant, and Clary didn't understand why.<p>

But Sebastian…Sebastian has been friendlier these past two weeks than he has the past few months. He talked to her, supported her, and helped her ignore the rumors – which was something she thought Jace would do. She's come to rely on Sebastian to get her through the school day.

"I just don't understand what's going on," Clary said while getting her books out of her locker. "I thought he wanted to fix things."

"Maybe he does," Sebastian replied.

"He sure has a funny way of showing it."

"Come on, Clary. It's Friday; let's do something fun," Sebastian coaxed. He'd been trying to make her feel better for the last two weeks by trying to get her mind of Jace.

It wasn't working.

Clary shook her head. "I don't know. I think I'm just going to wait and see what Jace is doing."

Sebastian sighed. "Clary you can't just keep waiting for him. Either tell him what's going on in that mind of yours," he tapped her temple, "or let him go."

"What do you mean?" Clary slammed her locker door shut and turned to face Sebastian. "You mean _break up with him? _I can't do that. Besides, he's the one being distant. He should tell me what's going on in his mind," she added quietly.

"Maybe he's waiting for you to break things off."

"Why would he do that?"

"So he doesn't add fuel to the rumor fire," he suggested. "It would prove all the rumors about him breaking up with you right."

"I don't want to break up with him," she stated, leaning against her locker.

"Fine, I'll let it go." Sebastian started walking away but turned around, "You leaving or what?"

Clary shook her head, "No, I'm going to wait for Jace."

Sebastian only nodded and walked away. Clary waited at her locker as she watched the halls clear. When most of the student body left and the teachers began to leave she decided to check the music room. Maybe he was waiting for her in there. But when she peaked her head in the classroom it was empty. Sighing, Clary walked out to the parking lot to Simon who was leaning against his car.

"Jeez, Clary," Simon said, breathing on his hands and rubbing them together, "What took you so long?"

"I was waiting for Jace," she replied and got in the passenger seat.

"Didn't you hear?" Simon asked as he started his car.

"Hear what?"

He hesitated, "Jace went home the period before last today."

"What? Why?" Jace never left early. At least not without telling her. But lately, with all the distance between them, they haven't been talking like they usually did. Jace only spoke to her when needed at school, and not much more when they saw each other outside of school – which wasn't all that much either anymore.

"Izzy said he didn't feel good." Simon shrugged, "I personally think it's a load of bull."

"You mean you don't think he's actually sick?" Clary tried to think of the last time Jace was sick, like _really _sick. It was about a year ago when everybody got the flu; Jace was out for two days. She looked down at her lap, "He's avoiding me isn't he?"

Simon sighed, "Clary, look, you just need to talk to him. Confront him about it. You should be the one mad at him, not the other way around. I mean he's the one who cheated on you!" When he saw Clary flinch he paused. "I'm sorry. I just don't like...I hate…"

"I know. You don't like him, you hate him, you don't want to see me hurt. I get it."

"It's not just that, Clary. I _hate _seeing you hurt. It hurts me; it hurts Izzy too. We just want you both to be happy again."

When Clary looked out the window she saw that Simon had pulled up at the Lightwood's house instead of her own. "What are we doing here?" She asked, shocked.

Simon squeezed her hand. "Go find out what's up with him. You'll feel better once you know."

She gave him a small smiled and returned the squeeze. "Thanks, Si. You always seem to know what I need." She climbed out of the car and walked up to the door. Taking a deep breath she didn't release it until she rang the doorbell.

oOo

Jace splashed cold water over his face. He had just run 6 miles on the basement treadmill. Looking up in the mirror he noticed the faint dark circles under his eyes. To anyone passing by, if they noticed the under-eye-bags, they would have just assumed he was tired. But he was so much more than just tired; he was miserable. Two weeks, two long weeks, had passed since he and Clary decided that they were going to tough out the rumors and stick together. But instead of getting better everything go so much worse. Instead of holding hands and looking lovingly into each other's eyes they barely touched and whenever Clary looked at him it was with hurt and confusion. Instead of making her laugh Jace couldn't even talk to her without seeing her devastated and crumbled on the floor the night he came home from the party. And instead of forgetting the whole incident and ignoring the rumors Jace saw Aline every time he turned around. He made unintentional eye contact and saw her smirk each time she saw him.

It drove him crazy. He knew he was pushing Clary away; he damn well knew it. But what could he do? For two years he went to her when he was lost or confused. For two years she came to him when she was hurt. But this time he did the hurting. _He hurt her._ All he wanted to do was turn back time to that night when he never should have step foot in that house party.

A loud knock came from the door. "Jace, open up!"

"Go away, Izzy," he called back. "I'm not in the mood."

"Well I don't really care. You need to get out here."

"No I don't. I'm sick, now go away."

He heard her snort, "Bullshit. Jace, you haven't been sick in two years."

It was true; he was just a healthy person. He swung the door open, "What do you want?" he asked in his most annoyed voice.

Instead of saying anything Izzy just turned on her heel, almost whipping Jace in the face with her long black hair, and walked away. Confused, Jace followed her to the living room.

"Iz, what did you – " He stopped as soon as he stepped out of the hallway. "Clary?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys, guess who's back! Finally, _finally, _I updated again! So so sorry for the wait. Life's been crazy and I've been out of ideas lately. This chapter is short because I started writing the next scene and it just made sense to me to make it a whole new chapter (it'll make sense once you read it). Hopefully I'll have it done in two weeks. That's right - TWO WEEKS. So for now I hope this will hold you over.**

**Thanks again to all my awesome readers, reviewers, and everyone who added me and this story to their favs/follows. **

**Happy reading!**


End file.
